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The Short Fuse Glossary

Here at The Short Fuse, we decided it would be a good thing to put together a short glossary for members both new and old to refer to when the jargon and the inside jokes start to come thick and fast. Also, don't hesitate to ask if things come up in threads that make no sense.

Many, many thanks to everyone who helped put this together, and if there are any more submissions in the future, let us know!

About All Of Us

This is the 2016/17 Getting To Know You post. It'll be updated with the new season's GTKY every year.

This is a map of where we all live, to which you should add yourself.


Ashburton Grove, The Grove - The full name for the Arsenal Stadium in absence of any naming rights.

Famous Back Four - Lee Dixon (RB), Tony Adams and Steve Bould (CBs), Nigel Winterburn (LB). An impenetrable, offside-trap-working miracle of a back four; basically Arsenal's defense from 1988 until 2000, unbroken.

Gunner - The nickname for players of the club; "Gooner" is often used for supporters.

Highbury - The Arsenal Stadium from 1913 to 2006. Marble and Art Deco.

Invincibles - The Arsenal team that won the 2003-04 Premier League without losing a single match. Went 49 straight league matches in a row without losing overall.

Woolwich - The southeast London borough where the Royal Woolwich Arsenal formed their football team and joined the football league in 1886.

Arsenal players' (and departed favorites') alternate names

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain - Kieran Gibbs, and vice versa. Blame Andre Marriner.

Coq - Francis Coquelin.

Dench - Emmanuel Frimpong; also his favorite word, which makes no sense.

The Greatest Striker That Ever Lived, TGSTEL - Nicklas Bendtner, who once broke the scale on a "psychological confidence exam", some might say without warrant.

Jack the Lad - Jack Wilshere.

JEFF - Jeff Reine-Adelaide.

Kos - Laurent Koscielny.

Meerkat - Andrei Arshavin.

Mert - Per Mertesacker.

Ox, The OC - Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain.

Tommy - Tomas Rosicky.

Unlucky Theo - Theo Walcott; name from The Tuesday Club podcast.

?, "Who?" - Mythical striker Park Chu Young.

Woj, Szcz - Wojciech Szczesny.

Arsenal Legends

Thierry Henry - aka The King; scored 228 goals in eight and a little bit seasons; perhaps the greatest all-around striker the Premier League has known.

Dennis Bergkamp - aka God. Divinely skilled shadow striker who did things with footballs that basically would not be possible for others.

Robert Pires - aka Super Bob. French outside midfielder who, once he got going, was devastating on the left. Won PFA Player of the Year.

Tony Adams - aka "The Doctor of Defence" (--Arsene Wenger). 672 appearances at heart of defense in 20 years for one club. Captain. England center back for years and years.

Michael Thomas - scored the most memorable goal in recent Arsenal history, the league winner at Anfield in 1989 against Liverpool at the very death. Celebrated like a fish.

David Rocastle - superbly gifted outside midfielder. Died very young of cancer.

George Graham - center half and then manager of the team that won the 1989 and 1991 Leagues.

Liam Brady - Irish midfielder, heart of FA Cup-winning sides of the 1970s. Now Director of Youth Development for the club.

Charlie George - scored the winner against Liverpool in the 1971 FA Cup final to win the club's first double.

Pat Rice - Joined Arsenal as a youth in 1964; aside from a four-year stint with Watford in the 80s, he never spent a day at any other club from 1964 until 2012. That's 44 years of service to the Arsenal.

Ted Drake - Still holds the record for most goals in one league game with seven against Everton in 1935. Flew airplanes in WW2, or else he may have scored more than the 124 goals he did for Arsenal.

Cliff Bastin - Scored 150 goals for Arsenal, which was the record until Ian Wright broke it in 1997. Would have had more, though, if not for WW2.

Ian Wright - Poacher extraordinaire.

Herbert Chapman - Left Huddersfield to become manager of Arsenal in 1925; made the club a Big Club, and then a Top Club. Innovator.

Arsène Wenger memes

Did not see it - Wenger sometimes claims not to have seen controversial incidents during matches.

Like a new signing - Whenever journalists ask Wenger about planned additions to the club, he will usually refer to long-injured players and remark that upon their return to health, they will function "like a new signing". Sometimes abbreviated as LANS.

Watch out water bottle - Wenger kicked a water bottle rather impressively during a poor match against Manchester United.

General things you will see on the blog

Boris Becker ITK - One time, German tennis legend Boris Becker tweeted that Robin van Persie had changed his mind and signed a new deal with Arsenal. How he knew this, nobody knew, but nobody cared. Boris Becker, #1 source for all Arsenal transfer news.

CLUB IN CRISIS - If an Arsenal player so much as drops a chip on the floor, the tabloid press headlines will vociferously ask "IS ARSENAL IN CRISIS?!!!1!!!11!!!" Thus, whenever things are going right or mildly wrong for the club, TSF readers usually will chime in with the above.

/danago'd - Refers to one-time community member danago, who often made claims to player and team knowledge he couldn't possibly have had and made claims to tactical knowledge researched and proven in video games. Referred to others as "kid". Thus, if a member comments about something they feel will work because it has in virtual space or in the past, the usual reply, in good humor, is the above.

Golden Corral - During the 2011-12 Great Fullback Crisis (see below), Arsenal made plans to replace the right back position with a Golden Corral restaurant franchise.

The Great Fullback Crisis - During 2011-12, Arsenal were forced by injury to play no fewer than ten different players at fullback throughout the course of the year.

pelanty - Simply refers to a penalty kick. Refers to Christopher Roland Waddle, ex-Tottenham Hotspur, who during match commentary yelled out the word "PELANTY" when a penalty was awarded.

Piers Morgan - Arsenal "supporter" and CNN "anchor" (update: not anymore! haha), "Journalist", hack. Don't listen to a damn thing he says. He is evil and wrong.

/shawcross'd - Refers to any horrendously late and horrific challenge, after Ryan Shawcross of Stoke snapped Aaron Ramsey's lower leg completely in half in a League match in 2010.

St. Totteringham's Day - Refers to the day during the season when it becomes mathematically impossible for Tottenham to finish higher than Arsenal in the league.

Top Club Club - Related to CLUB IN CRISIS; refers to the debated, but not really debatable, status of Arsenal as a "top club" (or somtimes "big club"); the Top Club Club is a club for only the coolest of Top Clubs.

NINETY SECONDS/NINETY SECONDS OF RESEARCH - in a thread once, one of our authors was accused of being an idiot because he didn't do "ninety seconds of research". So we TSF authors repurposed the phrase and now we and the community use it as a joke when someone gets something even slightly wrong.

ELITE STRIKER VENDING MACHINE - A machine that seems to exist in the minds of people who wonder why Arsenal don't just sign the best players on the planet whenever they want to. As in "Arsenal can't just drop money in the Elite Striker Vending Machine and grab whatever falls out".

PBFC: Pigeon Badge Football Club, the proper name for that other team in North London.