"ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?" bellowed Spendy McWarchester from Invincibles Manor, his jewel-encrusted palatial home overlooking FC Monaco's stadium, when we met with him yesterday to discuss the developing transfer market splash. Spendy was a bit lighter than in previous months, having earmarked a pile of Euros in a suitcase labeled "To Barcelona for Alexisanchez!" and a pile of pound notes in a suitcase labeled "To our friends at Neufchatel for Debuchy!" But make no mistake, Spendy is a mood for further spending. Here are some of the players who have caught his (googly) eye:
Sami Khedira: He's fresh off helping to eLOLiminate the Brazilians from the World Cup, he's Mesut Özil's BFF, and Arsenal may be in need of a D-Mid with Mikel Arteta reportedly off to Fiorentina to age gracefully. The Guardian's fun Rumor Mill details it here, along with reports that Alexisanchez! will be making 150,000 pounds a week, making him the highest-salaried player on the Arsenal squad.
Lars Bender: The much-talked-about D-mid target, who missed out of Germany's World Cup fun this year due to injury, is reportedly even more coveted by Arsenal than Khedira, and John Cross reports that £15M might be enough to pry Bender away from Bayer Leverkusen, even though a larger bid didn't work last year.
Loic Remy: John Cross also reports that Arsenal might want to stockpile attacking players after all, and that Loic Remy can be had from QPR for a mere £8M.
Juan Cuadrado: Express reports that DESPITE going after Alexisanchez! (all caps theirs), Arsenal may send £22M of Spendycash Fiorentina's way to bring the Colombian winger and all-around bad ass to the Emirates, which would immediately render at least one TSF writer eternally pantsless.
Spendy Sez: I WILL BUY THEM ALL! ALSO, I AM DRUNK WITH POWER!