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Monday Cannon Fodder: Premier League recap

West Ham United v Everton FC - Premier League Photo by Ryan Pierse/Getty Images

With Matchday 10 in the book, we’ve reached and passed the quarter poll of the Premier League season. There were some interesting and exciting contests in the league this weekend, so let’s jump right into it.

Crystal Palace 1 - Tottenham 2
Palace scored deep into second half added time to make the scoreline look better in what was a pretty one-sided match. I’m still not a believer in Spurs, however. I think they’re fraudulent. Come on, they needed 100 minutes to come from behind to beat a Sheffield United team that Arsenal just pasted.

Chelsea 0 - Brentford 2
Turns out when Chelsea don’t get lucky goals, they (still) aren’t much of anything. It’s a good win away from home for the Bees, who looked to be trending in the wrong direction and slipping into the relegation conversation. They’ll be fine, I think.

Bournemouth 2 - Burnley 1
One of those relegation 6-pointers saw the Cherries overcome an early goal against to claim the points at home. It really looks as if the three promoted teams will be going straight back down (depending on whether Everton are hit with a points deduction).

Wolves 2 - Newcastle 2
Wolves are frisky, although they’ll be considerably less frisky if Pedro Neto’s hamstring injury is as serious as it looked. Newcastle are discovering that it isn’t easy to play two games a week. They’ve got a load of injuries and Sandro Tonali was just banned for 10 months for gambling.

West Ham 0 - Everton 1
I like seeing Dominic Calvert-Lewin score goals, he’s had such a rough go of it with injuries. The Toffees are nearly 6 points behind what you’d expect based on their performances. They’ll be fine (again, if they don’t have points deducted for breaching the Premier League financial regulations).

Brighton 1 - Fulham 1
Two of the most disappointing teams thus far in the Premier League this season played to a draw. Evan Ferguson continued his impressive run of form with a goal for Brighton. Joao Palhinha scored for Fulham. The Cottagers would be in real trouble had Palhinha’s move to Bayern gone through.

Aston Villa 3 - Luton Town 1
Villa are this season’s flat track bullies. They were pasted by Newcastle (5-1) and convincingly beaten by Liverpool (3-0) and have played a relatively soft schedule so far. We know all about Unai Emery’s smoke and mirrors.

Liverpool 3 - Nottingham Forest 0
Liverpool are good. Forest are not. Next.

Manchester United 0 - Manchester City 3
City are good. United are not. City opened the scoring on a penalty that, while a foul by the letter of the law, was given for the slightest of grabs in the box. It was the type of contact you see escape punishment on every set piece in every match. It didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things because United basically no-showed for the game. They’re dreadful.