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Friday Cannon Fodder: lottery

Mega Millions Prize Passes $1 Billion Photo by Brandon Bell/Getty Images

The Mega Millions jackpot for today’s drawing is projected at $1.1 billion, with a B. The cash option is just north of $600M. It’s the second-largest Mega Millions prize ever and an absurd amount of money. I’m not a regular lottery player, but when the number gets above $250M, I usually get a ticket or two.

I know I’m not going to win. It’s a 1 in 300M chance. According to the Washington Post, I’m 70 times more likely to be killed by a shark and 216 times more likely to be struck by lightning. But it’s fun to think about what you’d do with the money if you won.

You couldn’t buy a Premier League club with the money. But a smaller club in a lower league? You could definitely swing that.

Me, I’d mostly go away. I’d buy a large house, some nice things, and live out the rest of my life in peace and comfort. Money doesn’t buy happiness, but relaxing on a luxurious couch and watching sports on a massive television sure helps. I would do plenty of traveling — I’ve always wanted to do one of those luxury, smaller ship cruises that go literally around the world, stopping at 100-some odd ports. I’d definitely attend a North London derby. I don’t think I’d feel the need to flaunt the money or do anything extravagant, but I would enjoying doing what I want to do.

And I’d do all the smart, boring stuff like hiring an accountant, a tax attorney, and an estate planner to guarantee that my family lineage is set forever if they want to be. Because at my core, I’m a (mostly) practical, some might say boring, dude.

So what about you? What specific things are you buying / doing if you won a massive lottery jackpot?