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Juventus want Gabriel Martinelli swap deal for Arthur Melo

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Genoa CFC v Juventus - Serie A Photo by Getty Images

Juventus are “prepared” to offer Arthur Melo to Arsenal in a swap transfer for Gabriel Martinelli, according to reports out of Italy. The Gunners kicked the tires on a loan for Melo in January but balked at taking the Brazilian midfielder on an 18-month term. This rumor is the product of how I imagine outlets fill slow news days, by putting club and player names on dart boards, letting fly, and seeing where things land.

I try to be judicious about what rubbish transfer rumors I share with y’all here. I take my gatekeeping responsibility seriously, after all. But sometimes we all need a good laugh. And boy does this one deliver.***

Let’s get this straight: Arsenal could have loaned Melo in for 18-months this past January but didn’t. And now Juventus want them to turn around and trade away one of their best young attackers for that same guy they could have had for free and didn’t take? Are they high down there in Turin?

Like Juve, I’m “prepared” to offer a bunch of things for stuff I want. Let’s bring back the barter economy! Here Lamborghini dealer, I’m prepared to offer my mid-level sedan for an Aventador Ultimate. Pleasure doing business with you.

There is zero chance this happens. There is (almost) zero chance Arsenal move Gabriel Martinelli for anything this summer. They’re going to try their best to sign him to a new contract to keep him at the club beyond 2024, when his current deal expires. And they certainly aren’t using him as make-weight to get an out-of-favor wantaway.

C’mon, Juve. You might be able to swing junk deals like that by bullying the other Italian teams. But this is The Arsenal. You’re playing with the big boys.

*** For what it’s worth, I doubt there is much to this from the Juventus side of things, either. It’s just a ridiculous, made up piece of nonsense. But it’s funny and it’s Friday, so indulge me.