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Sergio Ramos to Arsenal transfer rumor

From the category of the utterly absurd.

Chelsea v Real Madrid - UEFA Champions League Semi Final: Leg Two Photo by James Williamson - AMA/Getty Images

Sergio Ramos is not moving to Arsenal on a free transfer, despite a report today that talks between his camp and Paris Saint-Germain had stalled and that the Gunners were now somehow in the mix. Earlier this summer, the World Cup winner, 4-time Champions League winner, and Real Madrid captain announced that he would not be re-signing with the club where he’d spent nearly the entirety of his professional career. He’s currently weighing offers from PSG, Bayern Munich, and Manchester United, with the French side thought to be his likeliest destination.

It doesn’t take much logic / sense to see the absurdity of this rumor. Why would someone with as storied a career as Ramos decide to spend one of his few remaining seasons at a non-Champions League club? Well, other than some insane amount of money in terms of weekly wages that Arsenal either don’t have or really shouldn’t spend on a 35-year old centerback. As far as I know, there isn’t any personal connection between Mikel Arteta and Sergio Ramos beyond the fact that they are both Spanish.

Arsenal have cropped up a few times recently as the “other interested club” that a team or agent is using to help maneuver their real agenda through the market. I guess I should be happy that the Gunners, even with the recent dip in finishes, still carry enough weight to make the cut as a viable dummy team. In this particular instance, throwing Arsenal into the mix is a head-scratcher — Ramos has offers from Bayern and United too, what purpose does including the Gunners serve?

Don’t get me wrong, the thought of Sergio Ramos shithousing and dark arts-ing his way through the Premier League, winding up Harry Kane at every turn makes me giddy. But unfortunately, I’m cursed to live in the real world where there is absolutely no way this move happens.