An Arsenal fan’s letter to Santa

It’s Christmas time and Arsenal are in dreadful form. It’s a position that is completely unfamiliar to longtime supporters who are looking for answers. The fans are demanding change and want to see a return of the free-flowing Arsenal of not too long ago. If Mikel Arteta is not going to be the man to turn things around, then maybe the guy up at the North Pole with the presents and the reindeer can help. Here’s a Christmas letter to Santa from Arsenal fans everywhere.

Dear Santa,

It’s been a tough year all around and we are hoping that the fact that you wear red, like us, will work in our favor. You are a Gooner Santa, right?

Yes, we’ve gotten more red cards this past year than any other Premier League Club, but we hope that doesn’t mean that we should be on the naughty list.

We won the FA Cup over the summer and started off this year with a victory in the Community Shield. Since then, however, we’ve been receiving nothing but coal.

We are working awfully hard to change our fortunes, but we thought that a letter to the big man, you, might be a good way to start bringing in good tidings and joy. So here’s our wish list for this Christmas.

1. We would like to have a new owner that wants to win and will focus on making this happen in North London. In other words #KroenkeOut.

2. While you’re at it, how about a board and front office that have their priorities straight and know how to get things done?

3. Please allow William Saliba to be brought in to the first team. Otherwise, please explain to us why he is the player featured on the May 2021 official Arsenal calendar.

4. For once and for all please take Shkodran Mustafi to another team so we never have to see him ball watching again.

5. We’d love to have: four capable defenders, three creative midfielders, two speedy wingers and a goalie that can keep a clean sheet. (sung to the tune of the 12 Days of Christmas).

6. Please free Mesut Ozil and let him provide scoring opportunities for our front line. He’s our most artistic player, yet he’s currently working as a social media intern.

7. We’d love to see Aubameyang and Lacazette return to their scoring ways with at least 25 goals each and have them pass along their scoring prowess to young players such as Martinelli, Saka, Nketiah, etc.

8. Arsenal need a captain that the club can be proud of in the vein of Tony Adams or Patrick Vieira. A tough character with a winning mentality.

9. Please stop signing castaways from other squads that are well past their sell by date.

10. We want to see a team that gives 100% on the pitch and is deeply committed to the cause. Those that aren’t, need to be shown the door, or at least sold to Stoke.

Thank you in advance Santa for all your help. Remember North London is red just like the North Pole. With your help, we look forward to better things in 2021.