Gunnersaurus returns to the Emirates

Gunnersaurus has made his triumphant return to the Emirates. Just more than a month after he was let go in a cost-cutting measure, the beloved mascot is back at the club. Arsenal were 6-0-1 with our fuzzy, green friend working at the club but just 4-0-3 without him around. I’m not saying, I’m just saying.

It’s a bit of a coup that Arsenal were able to convince Gunnersaurus to return — according to some of our SBNation friends, the mascot had attractive offers from a number of interested clubs around Europe including Bayern Munich and Tottenham. But Gunnersaurus has Arsenal DNA, quite literally. I’m told the scientists who discovered his egg underneath the Emirates actually inserted Arsenal into his DNA before incubating and hatching the egg.

When asked about his return, Gunnersaurus nodded his head vigorously and gave a double thumbs up. But when the Arsenal spokesperson with him was asked how the club brought back the dinosaur, he declined to answer, citing intellectual property and scientific espionage concerns.

I’ve got a cautionary thought for the scientists that brought Gunnersaurus back, courtesy of the great Dr. Ian Malcolm, “your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.”

Gunnersaurus strikes me as a benign, friendly dinosaur, and I’m thrilled that he is back. But what if it doesn’t stop with him? What if they start bringing back his larger, more aggressive cousins? Next thing you know, something gets out and starts rampaging around the Emirates. Leaves giant footprints all over the pitch, smashes up the Clock End, maybe eats a player or two. We’ve seen this movie before y’all, it doesn’t end particularly well for the humans.