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Thursday cannon fodder: Frankenstein labradoodles

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Labradoodle Dog Photo by: Education Images/Universal Images Group via Getty Images

Carabao Cup

Manchester United 1 - Rochdale 1 (United 5-3 on penalties)
The scoreline says it all. The League One side took United to penalties at Old Trafford. 16-year old Luke Matheson scored in the 76’ minute for the visitors to even the game.

Oxford United 4 - West Ham 0
West Ham supporters were gleefully singing before the game about Colchester United knocking Tottenham out of the competition. And that, folks, is what we call irony.

Aston Villa 3 - Brighton & Hove Albion 1
The Seagulls trotted out a lineup with an average age of just over 21. Aston Villa got their first win since August 27.

Liverpool 2 - MK Dons 0
Jurgen Klopp made Harvey Elliot (16 years, 174 days) the youngest starter in club history. 17-year old Dutch defender Ki-Jana Hoever scored the Reds second goal. Old man James Milner got the other.

Burton Albion 2 - Bournemouth 0
The match was almost abandoned in the second half because the stadium floodlights went out. There were a whopping 28 minutes of added time as a result.

Wolves 1 - Reading 1 (Wolves 4-2 on penalties)
Reading pegged back Wolves deep into stoppage time when Lucas Boyle scored off John Swift’s rabona cross. The pair both missed their spot kicks, however.

Chelsea 7 - Grimsby 1
Callum Hudson-Odoi made first appearance since rupturing his Achilles in April. Also, Chelsea are mean bullies.

Sunderland 1 - Sheffield United 0
I feel like I’ve mentioned this before but Sunderland have a player named MAX POWER. And he scored the winner. MAX POWER. What a freaking name.

England

Everton supporters to show support for Moise Kean with banner
The banner will feature the words ‘No Al Razzismo,’ Italian for ‘No to Racism.’ Kean was the subject of racial abuse on multiple occasions during his time in Serie A with Juventus and on loan at Verona. Well done to the Everton fan group the Country Road Bobblers.

FA investigating Bernardo Silva’s tweet to Benjamin Mendy
Silva tweeted an old logo from a Spanish candy company alongside a picture of Mendy from childhood. People immediately denounced the tweet as racist. Silva says he was joking with a friend, and Mendy didn’t appear to take offense.

SBN’s Tilehurst End reminds us that footballers are human
A great piece and a great reminder that what we say about athletes can have consequences. So maybe think twice before slagging a guy off.

Europe

PSG lose at home in Ligue 1 for the first time since May 2018
The French giants were without a number of first choice players against Reims, who stunned the league leaders on the back of goals from Hassane Kamara and Boulaye Dia.

Atletico Madrid top Mallorca 2-0
The win stopped Atleti’s three-game winless skid and moved them to within a point of Real Madrid ahead of the Madrid Derby this weekend. Atleti will miss the services of Alvaro Morata, however, who picked up a straight red just 8 minutes after replacing Diego Costa.

Real Madrid continue their unbeaten start in La Liga
Los Blancos topped Osasuna 2-0 with manager Zinedine Zidane resting several key players ahead of the Madrid Derby on Saturday.

Inter Milan move top Serie A with win over Lazio
The Nerazzuri continued their perfect start to the season with a tricky away win. Danilo D’Ambrosio scored for the visitors.

Atalanta tops Roma 2-0
On-loan Manchester United defender Chris Smalling debuted for Roma, but his first appearance wasn’t enough to lift the home side to victory. Shocker.

Uli Hoeness threatens to pull Bayern Munich players from the German national team
The Bayern president told Sport Bild that if Joachim Low drops Manuel Neuer in favor of Marc-Andre ter Stegen, the German Bayern players won’t be permitted to go out on international duty.

Mino Raiola blusters on about Paul Pogba and Real Madrid
Sigh. It’s annoying that people waste pixels on this (yes, I see the hypocrisy). Pogba isn’t happy at Manchester United. Real Madrid apparently don’t want to match his wage demands. Barcalona was mentioned. People will continue to shout into the wind.

MLS

Portland Timbers 2 - New England Revolution 2
A penalty kick awarded in the 6th minute of 4 added on gives the visiting Revs a share of the points. TSF slack was not a happy place.

N.Y.C.F.C. 4 - Atlanta United 1
Alexandru Mitria notched a hat trick in the first half as the home side cruised to victory. New York needs a point from their last two matches to finish first in the Eastern Conference.

Minnesota 2 - Sporting KC 1
A 90th minute goal from substitute Hassani Dotson gave the home side the full points and clinched a playoff spot.

LA Galaxy 2 - Real Salt Lake 1
Goals from Cristian Pavón and Zlatan lifted the visitors to a win and clinched a playoff spot.

LAFC 3 - Houston 1
LA snapped a five-game winless streak and clinched the Supporters’ Shield (best regular season record).

Philadelphia Union 2 - San Jose Earthquakes 1
The Union clinched a playoff spot with some help from three VAR decisions in their favor. The third took a penalty away from San Jose. Their supporters were less than pleased.

Santiago Solari in talks to manage Inter Miami CF
The former Real Madrid boss is apparently the leading candidate to coach David Beckham’s MLS expansion team.

Other Sports

Maple Leafs star Auston Matthews facing disorderly conduct charges
Matthews and some friends are accused of trying to get into a woman’s car at 2 am because, according to the incident report, he was trying to be funny and see what she would do. Not funny. Not cool. Also, a number of people in the media need to try to think about it from the woman’s perspective before writing it off as “boys will be boys.”

England, USA face off in the Rugby World Cup 2019
Because of the structure of pool play, 4 groups of 5 teams, the Lions are playing their second match on just four days rest while the US are playing their first. The match is in Kobe, Japan, which apparently is a rugby hotbed. TIL.

NASCAR driver Alex Bowman intentionally hit Austin Dillon’s car during Saturday’s race
Dillon had hit Bowman earlier in the race, so Bowman and his crew were out for revenge. Intentionally hitting someone driving at 120+ MPH doesn’t strike me as a great idea. There were also some choice words about where Bowman wanted to put the “silver spoon” he feels Dillon grew up on.

Not Sports

Labradoodles are his ‘life’s regret’
The first person to breed a labrador with a poodle says the animals are “crazy” with major health problems. He says he unleashed a “Frankenstein’s monster” on the world. I, um, yeah. That’s a thing.

Kevin Garnett to feature alongside Adam Sandler in new movie
The movie is about a jeweler who gets caught up in the world of celebrities and sports gambling. Mike Francesa also has an acting role in the project. This could approach Gigli levels of bad.