Arsene Wenger to become FIFA’s “technical head”

About every few months, it seems, since Arsene Wenger left Arsenal, he would talk about returning to management. His most recent remarks like this, in fact, came just over a week ago, when he said “you will see me in a dugout again”, which made me really happy, because let’s face it, Scott Servais is doing fine with what he has to work with, but when a manager the caliber of Arsene Wenger is available, the Mariners would be stupid to look anywhere else, right?

What? Oh. Wrong dugout. I didn’t know soccer had dugouts. Anyhoodle, Arsene has made no secret of his desire to return to management throughout his year and a half away from the game, but he’s also been enjoying not being in the game. He’s been a broadcaster, he’s given talks, he’s just basically been enjoying his...retirement isn’t really the right word. Let’s call it a sabbatical.

Well, that sabbatical is over now. A story came out today saying that Wenger has agreed to become “technical head” at FIFA. What is the “technical head” of FIFA? Nobody really knows, it seems to be a position created with him in mind. All I know is that sweet, sweet FIFA gravy train will soon be backing up to Arsene’s driveway, sluicing out sweet, sweet FIFA money by the truckful. Where did that money come from? Who knows? Who cares? It’s FIFA!

Anyway. I’m glad Wenger found a job, and hopefully in the coming days we will see some clarification as to what a “technical head” is, and whether Wenger will be able to meaningfully contribute his knowledge to the betterment of the game, or whether this is just FIFA golden-parachuting a legend of the game. I hope it’s the former.