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Mesut Özil , Sead Kolašinac attacked by carjackers in London

Never bring a knife to a Gunnerfight

Arsenal Pre-Season Tour of the United States
“Are they gone yet?”
Photo by Stuart MacFarlane/Arsenal FC via Getty Images

Shortly following Arsenal’s busy day that saw two new transfers join the club, disaster was narrowly averted as two helpless carjackers were nearly the victims of a deadly beating after attempting to carjack Arsenal players Mesut Özil and Sead Kolašinac.

Out on the town with their wives, the Arsenal men were ambushed by two thugs on a plate-less moped who were armed with knives. Whether they targeted the car specifically for it’s passengers or simply because it was an expensive Mercedes G-Wagon, odds are they were not expecting to be the ones fleeing in terror.

Maybe they didn’t see Sead Kolašinac in the passenger seat. Maybe they didn’t know that he was a proper bastard and far-and-away the toughest player on Arsenal’s squad. Maybe they just didn’t care. Maybe they would have known better if they had seen the interview with Özil and Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang where they were asked which Arsenal member they would want on their side in a fight:

Regardless, they certainly weren’t expecting to take on the Bosnian Hulk face-to-face, as the wingback took on the assailants bare-handed.

In the short video making it’s rounds across the internet, you can see the muggers, clad in helmets, gloves, and jump suits, retreating from Kolašinac, clad in just a baseball cap, t-shirt, and shorts. Perhaps it would have been a fair fight if Kolašinac had one hand tied behind his back or wore a blindfold. Despite the disadvantage, the Bosnian put in his best defensive shift to date in London and successfully warded off the attackers.

Meanwhile, Özil (smartly and correctly) fled the scene with the wives in tow, heading toward a nearby Turkish restaurant where he is well-known to seek shelter while awaiting the cops. Say what you will about Özil’s tendency to disappear when the action gets tough, but he made the right call as the driver.

Thankfully, all occupants of the vehicle came out unscathed. Most surprising, however, is that Kolašinac came out of the fight uninjured despite the surveillance video cutting out as one of the muggers appears to swing a knife at his face. Just a day after the attack and the defender seems to be just fine.

As the internet is wont to do, there immediately came a wave of memes and jokes based on the encounter:

All joking aside, the players are lucky to not have gotten seriously injured. Nobody would have faulted both for backing down, and Kolašinac, despite coming out unscathed, did a very dumb thing. But for now, we can celebrate that both are safe, and that hopefully those two idiots will think twice before trying to mug strangers again.