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Friday open thread: Candy power rankings

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Happy Friday! Today we’re going to talk about something that was a hot topic of debate in the TSF writer’s room the other day. Candy! I mean, it’s not a super-hot take to say that “candy is good” - it’s supposed to be good. That’s literally the point of it - a fun little snack.

But there’s so many different kinds of candy! How do you pick which one you like best? You do the lazy internet thing of POWER RANKING, that’s what. So here, to kick off a debate, is my ranking of my own personal five favorite candies. It comes with a caveat: I try not to eat candy all the time, nor do I stay up on trends in the candy game. So my list is probably not super current, nor will it match your list. But that’s the point! Let’s get to the rankings:

Plain M&M’s

I’m sorry, if you have a power ranking of candy and plain M&M’s aren’t at the top of your list, your list is invalid and will need to be redone. This is pretty much the perfect snack. Each individual one is a nice little blend of crunchy sugar and chocolate; if you’re not super-snacky, you can have a few, but if you’re like me, you’ll house them fistfuls at a time because they’re sooooo good. Peanut M&M’s are ok in a pinch, all other flavors of M&M are pointless; plain is where it’s at.

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

In all honesty, this could have taken the #1 spot. Is the brown stuff inside a peanut butter cup actual, good peanut butter? No it is not! Does that matter, at all? No, it does not! The mix of peanut butter and chocolate is about perfect, and the two-pack of regular sized ones is a pretty ideal snack size. The mini ones are like M&M’s, in that I can’t not eat 1,000 of them at a sitting (or so it seems).

Snickers

I am in no way a professional athlete - I just ride my bike a lot. But about 10 years ago, I was on a long ride, and I had forgotten to throw an energy bar into my bike bag. The guy I was riding with had a couple Snickers bars, so he gave me one and basically convinced me that, in a pinch, Snickers makes a good energy bar - it’s got the sugar of chocolate and just a little bit of protein from the peanuts, so while I wouldn’t fuel an entire athletic endeavor on a series of Snickers bars, it’s good if there’s nothing else around. It’s also super tasty because it’s got chewy, crunchy, sweet, and salty all in one package.

Wild Cherry Life Savers

Life Savers in general are a pretty good snack - if you’re trying not to be super-snacky and trying to control your intake, a Life Saver’s not a bad way to go. And the wild cherry flavor is pretty much the perfect incarnation of Life Saver; not super-cloyingly-sweet, and as a bonus actually tastes like what it’s named after (unlike some Life Savers which just taste...green or yellow).

Lilikoi Hi-Chew

This is a very niche choice, I know. I’m generally not a huge fan of chewy candies like Skittles or Starbursts, but you know what I do like? Passionfruit. And these candies, generally available only in Hawaii (and at the ABC stores in Las Vegas), are basically passionfruit Starbursts, and they’re amazing. Sweet, but not ridiculously so, and every time I eat one it makes me feel like I’m in Hawaii, and that’s never a bad thing.

BONUS SEASONAL CANDY: Cadbury Creme Egg

I know this is a very polarizing candy, but I love Easter because that’s when Cadbury Creme Eggs are available. They’re creamy, they’re super chocolatey, and one of them at a time is plenty - it’s a pretty ideal candy. Except that it’s only available this time of year. The nice thing is that they freeze well, so it’s possible to stock up now and enjoy Creme Eggs later in the year.

So that’s my ranking. What’s yours?