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[On a cold, blustery, winter day, in a smoky conference room in a beautiful, industrial northern Chinese port city, two large and proud middle-aged men sit across from each other, getting more and more frustrated by the minute]
RMC: #AFC hopeful of securing a deal for Carrasco after an offer was submitted last night. Negotiations with the Chinese are a bit complicated by the language barrier.
— Arsènic™ (@MrArsenicTM) January 30, 2019
Dalian President: “我们想要300万美元的贷款费用以及今年夏天购买3500万英镑的选择权.”
Arsenal’s Raul Sanllehi:
Dalian President: “这对你来说是否合理?”
Raul:
Dalian President: “你明白我在说什么吗?”
Raul:
Dalian President: “成还是不成？我没有等待太长时间的回应!”
[a voice, coming from the shadows of the room, rises]
Mysterious Man: “看, err, 我对朋友无知的最深切的歉意.”
Dalian President: “啊!这是原来的法国黑帮老大！啪啪一下!”
Mysterious Man, to Raul: “I got it from here.”
[Mysterious Man turns to Dalian President]
Mysterious Man: 他妈的这个小丑，他是一个门把手失败的鞋子执行官。但是他需要你的比利时边锋，因为基督全能的他的小队是狗屎.”
[Dalian President laughs]: “拍更多的皮肤!”
[Mysterious Man and Dalian President high-five]
Mysterious Man: “如果我答应在你可爱的女儿的婚礼上露面，或者和你的妻子一起跳舞，我们可以在前面做两百万英镑吗?”
Dalian President: “你想要的只是和我妻子一起跳舞吗？我的朋友，我会让你操她的失明，但只有你带一瓶波尔多并穿上超级英雄的服装!”
[Mysterious Man and Dalian President high-five]
Dalian President: “我们得到了一笔交易.”
Mysterious Man to Raul: “You got a little bit Carrasco loan deal. Just remember, even when you least expect it, I am always around...”
Raul:
[Mysterious Man disappears back into the shadows of the room]