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Tuesday cannon fodder: metaphorical extension farce

Wolverhampton Wanderers v Birmingham City - Sky Bet Championship
Not Ruben Neves
Photo by Nathan Stirk/Getty Images

Vela calls out offensive chant, efforts to end it at LAFC games pay off - Angels on Parade
Pledges to observe "zero tolerance" on eradicating a gross "tradition" were followed, with hopefully good results.

Rúben Neves pledges loyalty as Wolves parade on buses through city | Football | The Guardian
The Wolves midfielder Rúben Neves insisted he wanted to play for the promoted club in the Premier League despite speculation over a move.

Charlie Adam: Stoke players 'getting away with murder for a long time' - BBC Sport
Surprisingly, this turned out to be a metaphor.

Bayern Munich: Franck Ribery signs one-year contract extension with Bundesliga side - BBC Sport
Bayern Munich midfielder Franck Ribery signs a one-year contract extension with the Bundesliga side.

Butland: Unacceptable, farcical signings contributed to Stoke's demise | FourFourTwo
Hey Jack! Wanna stay in the Premier League? I know a place you could go!

An unmarked grave to hero status: the Irishman who saved Barcelona | Paul Doyle | Football | The Guardian
Top footballers from Luís Figo to Roy Keane backed a campaign for a film to help rescue from obscurity Patrick O’Connell and his exploits at Barcelona.

Remembering lasagnagate when Spurs were on for fourth but got the sh*ts - Planet Football
We may not have St. Totteringham's Day recently, but we'll always have Lasagna Day.

NBA coach rumors: Why does anyone think they know how to judge these hires? -
This is definitely something to keep in mind as Arsenal look for a new coach. It’s basically a crapshoot.

And finally, I know I’m old when I see this and think less about how cool it is than how terrifying it would be to be in the middle of: