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Arsenal’s season was mired in a Blue Hell

Just another reason to stick to the kit classics.

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Nottingham Forest v Arsenal - The Emirates FA Cup Third Round
It’s not our fault! It’s the shirt!
Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images

Soccer is a complex game. It’s full of individual skill, team worked set plays, defensive reads and breakdowns and, of course, luck... so much luck. Like most sports, it isn’t hard to see why athletes become a bit superstitious. They have routines, lucky charms, quirky habits. Any bad patch of form can lead to inexplicable explanations for the results.

This season, Arsenal don’t have to look far to identify their curse. One thing more than any other’s kept the team down:

Those atrocious blue kits.

It can be argued whether or not they have any stylistic quality and, if one was inclined to enjoy a slow blue fade, it can be forgiven if it appeals to the fashionistas eye. Personally, they are a lazy and vile attempt to colour blend and only because of the soft blue tones does it not get ranked in the basement with kits like Barcelona’s Tequila Sunrise disasters.

Arsenal, simply, shouldn’t ever wear blue. Their colours are traditionally Red/White at home and Yellow away. Blue is an accent colour only. Hell, put Purple as a more Arsenal colour than blue.

Don’t believe it? The record speaks for itself. The intrepid research staff at The Short Fuse tallied up every game this season in which Arsenal wore the blue kit. The results (W-L-D)... better send the kids out of the room.

Premier League: 0 - 7 - 1
Europa League: 1 - 1 - 0
FA Cup: 0 - 1 - 0

The blue kit was there for the dour 4-0 thrashing at the hands of Liverpool, a loss so bad it spurred Arsenal to sell Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain to them to try and make their team worse. The blue kit was there for an uninspiring loss to Koln. The blue kit was there for the unceremonious dumping of Arsenal out of the FA Cup in their first game as defending champs to Nottingham Forest. The blue kit was even there at the Emirates to see Arsenal slump to Ostersunds it what could easily have turned into the game that dumped them out of the Europa League. The blue kit didn’t see a point earned in 2018.

In fact, the only win the blue kit ever saw was a 4-2 romp against BATE Borisov, a fairly putrid team by any standard. It is such a disgraceful kit that once Olivier Giroud scored his 100th Arsenal goal in it, he was immediately doomed to be sold to Chelsea.

To paraphrase the indomitable wizard Gandalf the Grey, the blue kits are altogether... EVIL!

Fortunately, the season is over. Arsenal can say goodbye to their 1-9-1 away kit and hopefully look towards a better future and better colours to help lead them to... oh come the hell on... seriously!??!

Fuck you, Puma.