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Arsene Wenger plays Russian roulette

It goes predictably haywire

Newcastle United v Arsenal - Premier League Photo by Alex Livesey/Getty Images

OK, my turn first,” the silver-haired, perfectly-dressed man says.

[unloads revolver cylinder of its singular bullet]

“No, no. That’s not how you play. You must keep a bullet in one of the chambers,” his seedy opponent, wearing many jagged, facial scars, says back, with a look of bemusement.

“Oh, I got it. Hehe, I’m new at this, you must pardon me.”

[puts bullet back in a chamber, spins the cylinder, then tips the gun to empty the chamber of its bullet]

“Alright, here I go…!”

[puts gun to head, pulls trigger, nothing obviously happens, slides gun to his opponent]

“Sir, you didn’t keep the bullet in the chamber,” the man’s opponent says, now with a hint of frustration. “That is not how you play this game. Otherwise, there is no risk involved in putting the gun to your head.”

“…oh? Hmm, I think I see. Let me try it again.”

[The man grabs the gun back, puts bullet in a chamber, spins the cylinder, then tips the gun – again – to empty the chamber of its bullet]

“No, no, you cannot – !“

[puts gun to his head, pulls trigger, nothing happens]

“Your turn!” the man exclaims proudly, now accompanying his expertly-chosen attire with a very large smile.

“Listen, I have explained this now twice to you,” the man’s opponent says, very slowly, in a fit of impatience and anger. “You must not empty the gun before pulling the trigger. You may not put a bullet in, spin the cylinder, empty the cylinder, pull the trigger, and think you’re safe and that it’s my turn. That is not how the game is played, and that is not how you win.”

The man processes each word individually. “...I think I follow. Let me try this again.”

[He puts bullet in chamber, spins the cylinder, and tips the gun to empty the gun of its bullet]

“NO! Keep the bullet in the gun!”, the man’s opponent shouts out loud.

[the man’s opponent stands up, reaches over the table and pushes the chamber closed]

“And I pull the trigger now?”, the man says, quizzically.

“…yes! But you must put the gun to your head first. Got it?”

“I do.”

[the man forgets to put gun to his head and accidentally pulls trigger with the gun pointed at his opponent’s head, killing him instantly]

“I win,” the man says.