Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! It is the season of yuletide carols and Premier League clubs (mostly) putting out Christmas and Holiday themed jumpers (knitted sweaters for Americans).
Let me preface these rankings with the facts, these all exist and are on sale from the club themselves. Unofficial supporter jumpers, although creative, were not considered. Teams that did not have one available for purchase, rank last and need to stop being Ebenezer Scrooge(s) immediately.
#17-20 - The Bottom Four - Relegation zone
This year four clubs are getting relegated due to lack of production on the field and lack of production from elves knitting their loyal supporters Christmas jumpers.
Burnley, Cardiff City, Newcastle and Southampton
If any of these teams do survive through next season, it should be mandatory for them to produce a Christmas jumper in 2019!
Since only three squads can be relegated, Burnley wins on goal differential via this photo of last year’s jumper!
#10-16 - We’re only here so we don’t get fined
These clubs get a participation ribbon for having the option of a Christmas jumper, but their merchandise department can do a lot better on the design. Christmas colors over club colors, and unique design over cookie cutter ‘ugly sweater’ designs.
#16 - Brighton and Hove Albion - as boring as it gets.
#15 - Watford - uber lame to just throw your club logo on top of a Santa pattern.
#14 - Crystal Palace - red and blue just don’t scream Christmas, design is poor as well.
#13 - Manchester United - “Santa is a red” could work for a good portion of the league, marks off that.
#12 - Tottenham - grey and navy are pretty bland, at least “Ho Ho Ho” was an attempt to spice things up.
#11 - Manchester City - the rhyme isn’t great and you’ll look like a snowflake.
#10 - Liverpool - An improvement from Watford’s Santa rendition.
#5-9 - We’re veterans who know how to play the Holiday gift guide game
#9 - Chelsea Elfie - I’ll let this photo speak for itself.
#8 - Arsenal - two classic options without being cookie cutter designs.
#7 - Leicester City - Homage to their mascot is always a solid move.
#6 - AFC Bournemouth - Punny and original, I can imagine Eddie Howe wearing this as I type.
#5 - Everton - There is no way Theodore Walcott doesn’t get his cheeks pinched by his auntie in one of these.
#1-4 - The Top Four
#4 - Fulham - Fulham are set for relegation and this jumper with hanging lights resembles their Premier League season hopes hanging by a thread.
#3 - Wolves - Loads of props for an original design, a Wolves supporter must have with their eggnog.
#2 - Huddersfield Town - Ok, I’m completely biased because I am the proud owner of a Terrier myself, but this is top notch.
#1 - West Ham United - Three designs, all class. Unlike their play on the pitch, the Hammers know how to knit a sweater!