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Transfer rumor update: Giroud transfer an expensive case of musical chairs

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Hang on, this is about to get confusing.

Borussia Dortmund v SV Zulte Waregem - Friendly Match
We’re all confused too
Photo by TF-Images/TF-Images via Getty Images

Well, this plot just keeps...thickening? Getting more confusing? Clear-as-mudding? Pick your bad analogy or metaphor, and the dual sagas of the Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang transfer and the accompanying potential Olivier Giroud move just keeps getting messier and messier. This from David Ornstein just now:

So everyone’s on the same page, right? That page being page “what a mess”. The line in there that caught my eye at first was “Chelsea baulk at Arsenal’s asking price for Giroud”, which if nothing else would seem to lend credence to the idea that said transfer would be closer to £35 million than the £15 million that Get French Football reported earlier today.

Either way, though, the gymnastics required to get Aubameyang to Arsenal just went from first-grade cartwheels into a pit full of giant chunks of foam to a really complicated routine on the balance beam in which at least one participant is afraid to stick the landing. It also really sorely tests my ability to come up with metaphors, and based on current evidence, I’m failing that test. Badly. As badly as someone who wou....

/gets dragged off stage by giant cane

An easy way to get this done would seem to be to sell Giroud to Borussia Dortmund for less than Arsenal would sell him to Chelsea for. An even easier way would be to allow player trades, but that’s crazy talk apparently.

Stay tuned for more, I think it’s going to be a crazy couple days.