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Friday cannon fodder: Disappointment ultimatum pressure spending

Crystal Palace v Swansea City - Premier League Photo by Christopher Lee/Getty Images

Happy Friday! Oregon’s still almost completely on fire, but the air in Portland is clearing up, which is a small bit of good news among all the sad news of all the fires’ destruction.

Got any big plans for the weekend? I’m taking a CPR class tomorrow. Have you ever done that? You should. We get recertified every couple years, and I’m glad we do - I’ve never had to use it, but it’s good to know I can do it if I need to. Other than that, I’m going to take advantage of the newly breathable air and go for a bike ride, probably.

Bibiana Steinhaus to become first female to referee in the Bundesliga - BBC Sport
Bibiana Steinhaus will become the Bundesliga's first female referee after she was chosen for Werder Bremen's game at Hertha Berlin on Sunday.

Ronald Koeman ‘very disappointed’ at Wayne Rooney over drink-driving charge | Football | The Guardian
Ronald Koeman has said he is ‘very disappointed’ at Wayne Rooney’s drink-driving charge and the player will be ‘dealt with internally at the appropriate time’. Which, apparently, isn’t this weekend, as he’s still eligible to start.

Crystal Palace gives De Boer ultimatum: Beat Burnley, or lose job |
Crystal Palace boss Frank de Boer risks becoming the first Premier League managerial casualty this season.

Transfer change a stupid idea that leaves Premier League vulnerable - ESPN FC
ESPN thinks closing the transfer window before the Premier League starts is a stupid idea. But then again ESPN employs Stephen A. Smith, so maybe their barometer for what stupid ideas are is broken?

What heavy Championship spending might mean for English football's future | FourFourTwo
Premier League cash is creating a new class of club that exists somewhere between the top two divisions – but is it necessarily a bad thing?

Alexis Sanchez: 55,000 Chileans to march so he breaks up with GF |
This is your semi-regular reminder that sports fans are the worst. Don’t ever be this kind of sports fan.