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Wednesday cannon fodder: streaming vampire humiliation

Minnesota Twins v Kansas City Royals
Not taken by me, I was there a couple days later
Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images

Hey there! I’m back from a weekend in Kansas City spent watching sports, eating meat, and drinking beer. KC was great - I probably never would have gone there if not for the Timbers game, but we had a really good time, met some amazingly awesome people, and oh my heavens I need to stop eating meat for a while now.

Both stadiums I went to, for the Timbers game and the Royals game, were fantastic, and the locals kept telling us the weather was unseasonably cool for KC in early July, but this pasty-ass Northwestern kid still sweated his ass off in 88 degree humid heat. But, I saw fireflies in person for the first time, which may no joke be the neatest thing about the trip. We don’t get those here! Also trapped a brown recluse spider in the house we were renting, which was not the neatest thing about the trip. At all.

How was your Fourth? Or if you’re not in the US, how was your Tuesday?

Rangers suffer humiliating loss to Luxembourg side in Europa League qualifying | Football | The Guardian
Rangers crash out of the Europa League early, to a side from Luxembourg, after taking a 1-0 lead from the first leg.

Premier League streams: 65% of young football fans illegally watch matches once a month | The Independent
Over a third of football fans illegally stream Premier League football at least once a month, according to a BBC survey.

Crystal Palace using garlic to prepare pitch for Premier League | London - ITV News
Crystal Palace is using garlic on their pitch in order to make it vampire-free for Premier League oh wait no that’s not right

Sporting KC’s Dom Dwyer scores for U.S. soccer, joining wife | The Topeka Capital-Journal
Dom Dwyer and Sydney Leroux became the first husband and wife to score goals for their country when Dwyer scored this weekend.

Philadelphia Business Journal reporter takes in his first soccer game | Philadelphia Business Journal
There are many ways to write the “crusty old person goes to his first soccer game” story. Most of them are absolutely terrible. This is legitimately one of the better ones - no condescension, no befuddlement, just open mindedness and a willingness to enjoy and learn the game.