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The emperor’s new title: Bendtner gets a promotion

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Miss you, Nik.

Newcastle United v Arsenal - Premier League Photo by Michael Regan/Getty Images

Former Arsenal superstar Nicklas Bendtner has never been adequately replaced at the club. Despite Olivier Giroud’s philandering and Jack Wilshere’s drunken heckling of Tottenham, Arsenal have had a gaping hole in Off-Field Banter since the departure of the Danish striker in 2014.

Bendtner was undoubtedly a unique figure in Arsenal history. (If you need to brush up on his history with the club, there’s no better retrospective than the one Friend of the Blog @Heisenbergkamp wrote for us.) Despite being nothing more than a solid contributor and exciting prospect in the best moments of his tenure with the Gunners, Bendtner amassed regal nicknames such as “Beowulf” and “Lord Bendtner.” He actually dated a Baroness at one point, though I suppose we’ll never know if he did this solely to shore up any majestic monikers.

Despite falling ever farther down the footballing ladder, it appears Bendtner has risen farther than ever in the esteem of his colleagues. According to Norwegian newspaper Nettavisen via ESPN FC, Bendtner is no longer a mere Lord. He is, in fact, an Emperor.

No, seriously. His teammates call him Emperor. Seems that there was already a Lord at the club, and he certainly wasn’t going to be a viscount or anything, so Emperor Bendtner it is.

Bendtner, obviously, approves of the promotion saying “I’m quite happy with it.”

No word on when Jacques-Louis David will finish his painting of the coronation ceremony but this lifelong Beowulf fan is eagerly awaiting his print.