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Monday cannon fodder

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Let’s get this week movin’.

Arsenal v Aston Villa - Premier League Photo by Clive Mason/Getty Images

Remember last week when I said I dodged the having-to-buy-a-new-car bullet? Well. The car that didn’t die then died now, fully and totally, and so we spent this weekend doing research on cars so we can buy a new car sometime in the next few weeks. What did you get up to with your weekend?

Kazuyoshi Miyura got up to setting a record - at 50, he is now the oldest professional to score a goal in a competitive match.

Mexican soccer players and fans, meanwhile, didn’t get up to much - Liga MX referees went on strike to protest what they feel is the “undermining” of their authority by league officials lessening their punishments after the fact.

Manchester United will be without all four of their recognized forwards for tonight’s FA Cup game after Wayne Rooney injured himself in training.

Have you ever heard of walking football? No? It’s exactly what it sounds like, and it’s used in no small part as a therapy and rehabilitation tool for stroke victims, older people, and people dealing with recovery from serious injury.

This weekend in MLS? Glad you asked. You might not see a better goal from this weekend than this:

The Blanco pass to Chara’s That game also featured a bad sending-off; Jelle van Damme’s first yellow was for dissent, and his second was the result of a really blatant dive from David Guzman. Guzman injured himself on the dive, too, so that’s fun. The Timbers won 1-0 for their first road win since MLS Cup 2015, and the LA Galaxy have lost their first two games of a season since 2012.

Elsewhere, Minnesota United continued their not-great start to the season, losing 6-1 in the snow to Atlanta United in the battle of MLS’ two newest teams. It’s gonna be a long season for MNU, but they got 35,000 people to show up in miserable weather, which is pretty great.

Oh, and a reminder: England and the rest of Europe doesn’t do Daylight Time for a few more weeks, so all those games you want to watch this week will start an hour later than you’re used to.