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Some rando leading an Emirates tour says Alexis is gone

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The usual caveats apply. More than the usual, even.

Sutton United v Arsenal - The Emirates FA Cup Fifth Round
one of these guys knows as much as the Star does
Photo by Clive Rose/Getty Images

Before we start: I know it’s the Star, and I know it’s unsourced, and I know it contains no attributable quotes or actual evidence. But it’s a thing, and talking about things is what we do, so.

Anyway, today in the Star: Alexis Sanchez In Shock Leaving Arsenal Shocker! There are entirely too many “it is understoods” and “he is believed”s to make this story credible, but the Star seems pretty convinced that this season will be Alexis’ last in north London. My favorite quote from that story:

Youngsters on a tour of the Emirates were reportedly told that Sanchez is definitely off at the end of the season.

How does that even work?

TOUR GUIDE: Over there is the director’s box, go ahead and have a seat kids!
KIDS: Oh, these are nice!
TOUR GUIDE: And right down this way is the changing room, let’s go have a look.
KIDS: Cool!
TOUR GUIDE: And if you’ll just follow me this way, I’ll take you pitchside so you can stand where Arsene Wenger stands!
KIDS: Awesome! This is great! I’m having a blast on this tour!
TOUR GUIDE: By the way, kids, this is an exclusive - Alexis Sanchez is leaving Arsenal this summer!
KIDS:
TOUR GUIDE: That ends our tour - here we are at the team shop! Have a great day!

So yeah, color me skeptical on this rumor. As with the coaching rumor from yesterday, it’s certainly possible that Alexis will be gone this summer; I just wouldn’t really trust this article to prove that to me in any substantive way, because there’s literally no way it can.