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Arsene Wenger tries to buy some cheese

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In which our intrepid hero shows off what he can do.

Catalan Independence - Focus On The Region Photo by Jack Taylor/Getty Images

AW: Oh look, I’m out of cheese. I should go to the store.

[goes to store]

[picks out his favorite cheese; goes to the counter to pay]

Cashier: “That’ll be £2.50, please.”

AW: [Takes money out of his pocket; starts to spin the coins in his palm]

Cashier: “What are you doing?”

AW: “Paying you for the cheese, of course.”

Cashier: “You can just hand me the coins, you know.”

AW: [smiling] “I know.”

AW: [shows off foot dexterity by juggling coins with both feet and knees]

Cashier: “Again, sir, you can hand me over your coins. I will accept that as payment, at which point you can walk out of the store with your cheese. It doesn’t need to be this difficult.”

AW: “That is the simple way of paying for cheese. I prefer there to be an exhibition, to show others around me that there can be untapped beauty in the world.”

Cashier: [staring]

AW: “In today’s world we lack the ability to express ourselves in normal situations. Why pay for cheese by handing you the coins, or swiping my debit card, when I can make it much more beautiful of a transaction instead?”

Cashier: “You’ve now wasted five minutes of time that could have been spent eating the cheese, or helping out other customers. Do you feel good about yourself?”

AW: [smiling] “Yes!”

Cashier: “I’m going to need you to either hand me the coins in the next couple seconds, or set the cheese down and leave.”

AW: [kicks a coin up from his knee to the back of his neck, impressively balancing the coin while holding both hands out and smiling]

Cashier: [sighs, checks out the next person in line]