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Stuck Foke: Tracking the Potters’ failures on their path to relegation

I think this is something we all can agree on

Burnley v Stoke City - Premier League Photo by Alex Livesey/Getty Images

We’re almost halfway through the league slate for the season, and while this might be tempting fate it’s an idea I’ve had for a month or so and I think it’s time to bring it to life on The Short Fuse. Don’t get mad at me if what we all want to happen doesn’t, but if there’s one thing I think we can all find common ground until May it’s tracking Stoke City’s progress to relegation.

Yes, that’s right: We will be keeping all of you posted on, hopefully, all their failures and missteps as we collectively hold our breath and hope, come May, they’re in the bottom three and thankfully out of the Premier League.

And what a good time to start this!

Oh God, shoot all of this directly into my blood stream! Stoke, facing another club who parks the bus and kicks their opponents like the dirty bastards they are, nicking all three points late from a stupid smash and grab goal?

As of now, Stoke is three points above relegation:

We might have to be patient, at least tomorrow, since the clubs behind Stoke besides Newcastle (who host Everton) that haven’t played this round of mid-week matches have pretty strong opponents: West Brom travel to Liverpool, West Ham host Arsenal, and Swansea City travel to Manchester City. Clearly we don’t want Arsenal to be the ones to help out the cause that is Stoke’s descent into the bottom three, so the hope is we need either Swansea City or West Brom to do the unthinkable and take points in matches no one expects anything but doom and gloom from them.

Now, here’s the kicker with this series going forward: you don’t have to be an Arsenal fan to appreciate Stoke failing on a weekly basis. There are fewer clubs out there (besides Arsenal) that generate as much hate among fans across the league as Stoke. So share this with all your friends, regardless of the club they support.

If what we all want to happen actually happens, I promise you we will celebrate, party, and laugh as one. Because nothing would make me any happier (well, possibly hyperbole) than seeing these striped clowns plying their dumpster diving style of play in a competition they’re much more suited for.