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My closest friend, a Liverpool man, and I have attempted a truce after all the years of throwing insults at each other’s teams. Never winning the Premier League comes back to never winning a Champions League. A 4-0 drubbing this year at Anfield leads to me pointing to their current position on the table. I am sure that if you love the sport as much as I do, that you too have someone like this in your life who roots for a team you simply cannot support.
Harping on Arsenal maybe low hanging fruit for some of your friends, foes, or whatever John Q. Public you meet at a bar. Here is at least one thing you can point to for each PL opponent if you are caught in a battle of the wits.
Bournemouth
- They blew a 3-0 lead last January at home against us.
- Remind them of September 9th at the Emirates. Or show them the video here:
Brighton & Hove Albion
- Remind them of October 1st and that sumptuous Alexis back heel assist that put it away.
Burnley
- Point to where they finished on the table last year, where they are currently this year, and the last 6 meetings we’ve had against them.
Chelsea
- First, show them this video:
Then show them this one:
Crystal Palace
- Tell them they are 1-0-8 (Thanks for beating Chelsea, lads) and rock bottom in the table.
- Giroud is a Puskas finalist thanks to them.
Everton
- Remember yesterday?
Huddersfield
- Ask “Who?” and point to the table.
Leicester City
- Remember how happy they made us during this match on the first day of the season?
Liverpool
This one will start with them talking about a 4-0 win earlier this year. Then move swiftly to this:
- Dejan Lovren makes your starting XI.
- You’re in 9th.
- Call them “Slipperpool”.
- Finishing move: Gerrard never won the Premier League (this one hurts them the worst, be ready to console them with a hug).
Manchester City
Simply put, you will likely want to change the subject quickly with their form right now. But here are two I can offer.
- If I throw enough money at something it will eventually work.
- Show them this video:
Manchester United
- We beat you 2-1 last meeting.
- You lost to Huddersfield this weekend after your fans were proclaiming you could be invincible.
- You finished in 6th and only made it to the CL thanks to winning a tournament Arsenal are currently undefeated in.
- We won the league at Old Trafford.
Newcastle United
- We’ve beaten you in our last 6 meetings by an aggregate score of 11-2.
Southampton
- Your only win against us in the past 5 meetings was a Carabao Cup match.
- We beat you 5-0 on our way to winning the FA Cup.
- You sell us and Liverpool anybody worth a damn.
Stoke City
- Spend less time talking about that 1-0 win against Arsenal earlier this year and more time figuring out how to escape relegation danger as they sit 16th (that would be 11 spots behind Arsenal currently).
- They lost to Bristol City in an Carabao Cup match.
Swansea
- 4-0 in the last meeting on January 14th looked like this:
Tottenham
- You sold us Sol Campbell
- Tell them to check out this cool website: http://www.haveyoueverseentottenhamwintheleague.com/
- Show them this video:
Watford
- Troy Deeney’s comments about “Cojones” came back to haunt him when his team lost it to Chelsea this weekend in the 88th minute. Arsenal jumped them in the table as a result.
- In the last 6 meetings we have outscored you on aggregate 13-6. Fair to point out that you have 3 wins in those 6 meetings, but so do we.
West Brom
- Show them this video from the 25th of September:
West Ham
- We won 8-1 on aggregate in our two meetings last year. And remember this hat trick from Alexis?
Of course, all of these are just in good fun for the sake of banter. COYG!