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How To Clap Back When Another PL Fan Insults Arsenal

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You may need more than one though...

Arsenal v Chelsea - The Emirates FA Cup Final Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images

My closest friend, a Liverpool man, and I have attempted a truce after all the years of throwing insults at each other’s teams. Never winning the Premier League comes back to never winning a Champions League. A 4-0 drubbing this year at Anfield leads to me pointing to their current position on the table. I am sure that if you love the sport as much as I do, that you too have someone like this in your life who roots for a team you simply cannot support.

Harping on Arsenal maybe low hanging fruit for some of your friends, foes, or whatever John Q. Public you meet at a bar. Here is at least one thing you can point to for each PL opponent if you are caught in a battle of the wits.

Bournemouth

  1. They blew a 3-0 lead last January at home against us.
  2. Remind them of September 9th at the Emirates. Or show them the video here:

Brighton & Hove Albion

  1. Remind them of October 1st and that sumptuous Alexis back heel assist that put it away.

Burnley

  1. Point to where they finished on the table last year, where they are currently this year, and the last 6 meetings we’ve had against them.

Chelsea

  1. First, show them this video:

Then show them this one:

Crystal Palace

  1. Tell them they are 1-0-8 (Thanks for beating Chelsea, lads) and rock bottom in the table.
  2. Giroud is a Puskas finalist thanks to them.

Everton

  1. Remember yesterday?

Huddersfield

  1. Ask “Who?” and point to the table.

Leicester City

  1. Remember how happy they made us during this match on the first day of the season?

Liverpool

This one will start with them talking about a 4-0 win earlier this year. Then move swiftly to this:

  1. Dejan Lovren makes your starting XI.
  2. You’re in 9th.
  3. Call them “Slipperpool”.
  4. Finishing move: Gerrard never won the Premier League (this one hurts them the worst, be ready to console them with a hug).

Manchester City

Simply put, you will likely want to change the subject quickly with their form right now. But here are two I can offer.

  1. If I throw enough money at something it will eventually work.
  2. Show them this video:

Manchester United

  1. We beat you 2-1 last meeting.
  2. You lost to Huddersfield this weekend after your fans were proclaiming you could be invincible.
  3. You finished in 6th and only made it to the CL thanks to winning a tournament Arsenal are currently undefeated in.
  4. We won the league at Old Trafford.

Newcastle United

  1. We’ve beaten you in our last 6 meetings by an aggregate score of 11-2.

Southampton

  1. Your only win against us in the past 5 meetings was a Carabao Cup match.
  2. We beat you 5-0 on our way to winning the FA Cup.
  3. You sell us and Liverpool anybody worth a damn.

Stoke City

  1. Spend less time talking about that 1-0 win against Arsenal earlier this year and more time figuring out how to escape relegation danger as they sit 16th (that would be 11 spots behind Arsenal currently).
  2. They lost to Bristol City in an Carabao Cup match.

Swansea

  1. 4-0 in the last meeting on January 14th looked like this:

Tottenham

  1. You sold us Sol Campbell
  2. Tell them to check out this cool website: http://www.haveyoueverseentottenhamwintheleague.com/
  3. Show them this video:

Watford

  1. Troy Deeney’s comments about “Cojones” came back to haunt him when his team lost it to Chelsea this weekend in the 88th minute. Arsenal jumped them in the table as a result.
  2. In the last 6 meetings we have outscored you on aggregate 13-6. Fair to point out that you have 3 wins in those 6 meetings, but so do we.

West Brom

  1. Show them this video from the 25th of September:

West Ham

  1. We won 8-1 on aggregate in our two meetings last year. And remember this hat trick from Alexis?

Of course, all of these are just in good fun for the sake of banter. COYG!