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Shakira wants Gerard Pique to move to London, make the UK even more insufferable

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Don’t hold your breath on this one.

Athletic Club v Barcelona - Copa del Rey: Round of 16 First Leg Photo by Juan Manuel Serrano Arce/Getty Images

Gerard Pique, as many know, is a professional troll and blowhard incapable of going more than three days without causing some kind of controversy or stirring up some kind of spat with whoever is within 20 feet of him or his Twitter account. Oh, and he is also a paid footballer on the side who is dating famous warbler Shakira, a better half who apparently wants him to consider a move to London according to garbage publication Don Balon.

Shakira is allegedly fed up with all the controversy the insufferable Barcelona-Real Madrid rivalry stirs up 365 days a year, controversy which, in all honesty, is often stoked by her husband and his extreme loyalty to his club and Catalonia. Of course, given his stature and playing ability only two clubs in London make sense: Arsenal and Chelsea. Both clubs have decent Spanish-speaking contingents and Chelsea has fellow villain Cesc Fabregas to keep Pique company and discuss all things Catalonia.

However, this rumor, for all intents and purposes, is probably 99 percent nonsense. Pique is the heart and soul of Barcelona and their back line and someone who harbors ambitions to be a head honcho at the club, perhaps even club president some day. He already had his stint in England and moved back to Spain for a reason. While Arsenal and Chelsea are huge clubs in a league which gets maximum amounts of attention, Barcelona also has a pretty sweet thing going with some dude named Leo Messi and is a lock to be one of the very few clubs in contention for a treble every single season.

Even if Pique wanted a move to London, a BIG if, Barcelona’s asking price for him would likely be so absurd and his wage demands so high that Arsene Wenger probably wouldn’t even considered it so there’s really no reason to start day-dreaming about him Waka-Wakaing in Arsenal colors.