Monday Cannon Fodder: fillin’ in again

Hi kids! Ben’s off doin’ the Lawyerin’ this morning, so you’re stuck with me and the following pile of links.

In another example of why transfers aren’t as easy as “WE ARE A BIG TEAM AND WE WANT THIS PLAYER HERE IS MONEY GIVE US THIS PLAYER”, Julian Draxler said (again) today that Wolfsburg refused to let him go this summer, despite interest from, at a minimum, Arsenal and PSG.

Arsene Wenger claims that missing out on last summer’s Euro 2016 squad makes Theo Walcott want to win more. So there IS a point to international soccer after all!

It’s not quite “Man Bites Dog”, but as headlines go, “Giant Inflatable Fish Attacks Man” is pretty solid.

Manchester mayoral candidate Andy Burnham demonstrates that he has no clue why the Premier League was set up, and calls for something the PL basically already has.

Crystal Palace chairman Steve Parish wants more money, and instead of solving the problem of imbalanced finances in English soccer, he basically just wants to push the financial issues of the Championship down a level.

Today is the European Day of Languages, so Arsenal asked some of its non-native English speakers what it was like to learn English.

Yesterday was a sad day in American sport, with both Jose Fernandez and Arnold Palmer dying.

Also sad, but on a more...joyful level, if that makes sense - yesterday was broadcaster Vin Scully’s last regular season game at Dodger Stadium, after a 67 year career with both the Brooklyn and Los Angeles Dodgers. How did he go out? Like this.