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Cannon Fodder: Transfer Deadline Day!

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Our long national nightmare is nearly over: Deadline Day news and links for Wednesday, August 31, 2016.

Last-Minute Filers Do Taxes Before Midnight Deadline Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images

'Vieira is disgusted by Wenger attitude' - Petit - Goal.com
Petit, Vieira, and other Arsenal players who decided they'd rather be part time assistant national team coaches and garbage pundits instead of doing the hard work should take their cues from Steve Bould: get experience at the youth level and then work your way up through the ranks. Otherwise, kindly stuff it. Being a legendary player does not make one a legendary manager overnight.

Bayern Relaxes, Dortmund Look Backward And Other Week One Impressions | StatsBomb
It’s one game. Never get too bold about season long team qualities on one game. But it’s the first game. The first actual games we’ve seen in months means there’s a lot to learn.

How Marc Andre ter Stegen beat Claudio Bravo for Barcelona goalkeeper job - ESPN FC
Like it or not, Marc-Andre ter Stegen showed this weekend just why he's the future between Barcelona's posts, writes Graham Hunter.

Laporte chooses Spain | MARCA English
It's full speed ahead to kick-start the complicated bureaucratic process to convert Aymeric Laporte into a Spanish national.

Wayne Rooney: England captain to quit internationals after 2018 World Cup - BBC Sport
England captain and record goalscorer Wayne Rooney will retire from international football after the 2018 World Cup in Russia.

Premier League news: I'm no Liverpool failure, says Benteke - Goal.com
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Bastian Schweinsteiger - MLS an option but Man United stay is my dream - ESPN FC
Manchester United midfielder Bastian Schweinsteiger insists that his "dream" would be to stay at Old Trafford but hinted at a future move to Major League Soccer in the United States.

OTL investigates the implosion of daily fantasy sports leaders DraftKings and FanDuel
The implosion of the daily fantasy industry is a bro-classic tale of hubris, recklessness, political naïveté and a kill-or-be-killed culture.

Arsenal’s Transfer Window: 2 out of 3 Ain’t Bad!
"The biggest criticism of Arsenal’s transfer business—aside from their failure to land an undisputed ‘world class’ forward—would be associated with the timing of the deals. Had Mustafi and Lucas been on board from the beginning of the campaign, perhaps the Gunners would not have dropped five points in their opening two games." Love it when people pretend you can just wave a wand to get deals done faster!

The rapid decline of the once-great poacher Mateja Kezman
There was a time when Mateja Kezman was rightly considered one of Europe's most formidable marksmen. It only took a year, however, for it all to fall apart.

Chelsea scramble for defence eye up David Luiz Marcos Alonso and more - ESPN FC
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha