Euro 2016: Q&A with Andrey Arshavin

As the Russian national team bombed out of Euro 2016, The Short Fuse caught up with former Gunner and Russian national hero Andrey Arshavin for an exclusive interview.*

TSF: Andrey, may I call you Andrey?

Andrey Arshavin: No.

TSF: Ok, umm, I apologize, Mr. Arshavin. Thank you for granting us a few minutes of your time.

AA: I’m glad :)

TSF: Your breakthrough moment was Euro 2008 when you led Russia to the semifinals of that tournament. What do you think is the key for a team, and its players, to progress far in tournaments such as this one?

AA: For people not to forget that they are mere mortals. Some people say that suffering purifies the soul.

TSF: Oh wow. Uh, yeah, I mean, that makes sense, I suppose. Do you think the suffering the Russian national team has been handed in Euro 2016 will prepare them for the World Cup on their home soil in 2018?

AA: I’m not the coach, I do not know.

TSF: Well, surely you’re qualified to give an opinion?

AA: Even William Shakespeare himself could not answer this question with certainty.

TSF: Ok. Fine. Whatever. Are you disappointed in the actions of Russian fans in France surrounding this tournament?

AA: Globally speaking I’m for world peace.

TSF: Well, that’s good. Do you have anything else to say to Arsenal fans before we let you go?

AA: I think that even a donkey will be able to cook this dish :) But seriously, what’s so difficult about it? Just take a couple of eggs and break them into a pan.

TSF: ........

*We did not actually catch up to him and most certainly did not get an exclusive interview. BUT these answers are all real life Andrey Arshavin quotes from his legendary Q&As. He is the greatest.