Arsenal are currently free-falling, having only garnered 8 points out of their last 12 available in the league. I know that does not sound bad, but we kind of had to be perfect here at the end to have a shot at the Barclays Premier League crown. We have been anything but perfect.
The results, disappointing. The play, nearly unwatchable. Arsenal have gone from being lovable losers, attacking idealists undone by their desire to "play the right way" to a side that has scored less goals at home than
Steve McClaren Rafa Benitez' Newcastle United squad. Things are bad.
But why are they bad? Understandably, Arsenal fans are eager to tell you their answer to this question. We here at The Short Fuse have compiled a list of reasons we are pretty sure had nothing to do with Arsenal sucking this year, but we cannot be sure.
1. The CFC Takeover
First, we let Spurs take over our blog. Next, they overcome us in the league. At first glance, this resembles your classic ability-transfer romp a la "Rookie of the Year" or "Thunderstruck" plot line where some wacky connection leads to a temporary transfer of abilities. However, since when do we win titles? Seems very harsh to blame this blog, but go ahead if you need a scapegoat.
At least Thomas got paid.
2. Mathieu Flamini's Thriving Biotech Businessman Career
I think Flamini getting as many appearances as he did for Arsenal this season, in and of itself, was a pretty big reason for our disappointing year. However, I do not think you can totally rule out a fossil fuel cartel conspiracy against the Frenchman which resulted in the torpedoing of Arsenal's season.
3. Jack Wilshere being in a bar where a random fight occurred
Jack's on-field contribution and off-field contribution to Arsenal this season are the same. Maybe it's recency bias kicking in, but this was the biggest non-story of all of the non-stories Arsenal Twitter got up in arms about this season.
4. The yearly "consulting fee" paid to KSE
Still doesn't mean anything and is basically the nicest way I've ever heard of an owner bilking money from a team he owns in (relatively) small amounts.
5. The Puma kits
I mean, the home and away ones are ok, I suppose. Let's never speak of the third kits again. Still, hard to connect those to match performance unless someone wants to do a scientific study on the correlation between nipple chafing, xG, and actual performance.