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Aging, out of touch man baby Jose Mourinho faces ban, could miss Arsenal away

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Manchester United interim manager Jose Mourinho could miss the trip to Arsenal after being charged by FA due to his conduct in their uninspiring draw at home to Burnley.

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Earlier today the FA charged Manchester United's diapered adult manager Jose Mourinho with misconduct following their 0-0 draw at Old Trafford versus newly-promoted side Burnley last weekend.

Normally this charge comes with a one match ban, which would see Mourinho only miss their trip to Swansea City this weekend, but since he's completely, utterly incapable of controlling his body and emotions while also, simultaneously, being a dick, the likelihood he gets multiple matches is a real possibility.

The Mirror notes:

Mourinho went "absolutely ballistic" at Clattenburg in the tunnel after United were not given a penalty for Jon Flanagan’s challenge on Matteo Darmian.

Witnesses were stunned at Mourinho’s tirade in the tunnel as the United boss waited of Clattenburg and then let rip at the referee.

Also, they go on to state:

The standard punishment is a one game touchline ban but it is understood that if behaviour is over and above then it can result in a longer ban or even a complete stadium ban.

His previous track record also comes into play as FA chiefs will take into account the fact that he was given a stadium ban for a similar incident last season.

The thing with Mourinho is this: he's an inconsolable, spoiled child whose track record includes a wake of long-term destruction that his supporters like to mask with his random ability to win a trophy or two. There isn't a better match made in hell than Jose Mourinho and Manchester United. They deserve each other far more than they know or understand.

In a predictable reality, Manchester United would destroy all challengers. The money and resources available to them are virtually unmatched within the world, let alone England. They're being run by Ed Woodward, however, whose MO is one of poor decision-making and alienation of the club's vastly successful elders. In a perfect world they would have a successful plan implemented that would lead to easy domination of the league and Europe on a regular, yearly basis. Instead the only man they could turn to this last spring was a Portuguese Water Dog who messes on the carpet right before running out the front door for good.

Because of this, and because of United's inability to plan past a 12 month period, they're stuck facing the prospects that the manager they brought on - the one that's led them to the same position after ten league matches as David Moyes in his first and only abbreviated season at the club - will miss out on a crucial away trip to title-contending Arsenal.

This is Manchester United's - and Jose Mourinho's - reality, and I for one could not be any happier.