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A comprehensive review of all the players Arsenal bought today

All the activity from today, dissected here for you.

Tullio M. Puglia/Getty Images

Edinson Cavani, for starters.

Adrien Rabiot, the Sevilla holding midfielder whose name I'm not attempting to spell correctly at the moment, Mario Gotze, Marco Reus, Isco, Gonzalo Higuain, William Carvalho, Yann M'Vila, Travis King, that guy down the street, the other guy down the street, him, her, literally a dead fish from the market 'round the corner, Zlatan, Karim Benzema, Dr. Eva Carneiro, Thierry Henry's statue, Sol Campbell, Cliven Bundy, a few of those biker dudes who got in the shootout in Texas at Twin Peaks a couple months ago, a brisket, some pork and beef ribs, some slaw and potato salad, with a few slices of bread and a few slices of onion to give the meal some spice and flavor, and Sebastien Frey.

Oh, wait, no. I think I've been mistaken. I'm now being told that I got every single one of those moves incorrect. None of that happened on the final transfer day of this summer.

But honestly, everyone. More rational, serious thoughts to come later.