Arsenal Transfer Rumors: Pjanic, Dzeko, Benzema, a Super Secret Second Option

The summer transfer window hasn't been terribly active for Arsenal outside of the goalie position, but that could potentially change in the coming weeks, if soccer sites looking to clickbait Arsenal fans can be trusted. We reported yesterday on the possible loan of one Wojciech Szczesny to Roma for the year; now, according to The Week, Roma midfielder (might we even say, defensive midfielder) Miralem Pjanic might be coming to Arsenal as part of the deal allowing Roma to secure, as The Week cheekily put it, the "gaffe-prone gloveman." Might we soon see Pjanic on the streets of London?

Fun facts from The Week: Pjanic is Muslim, speaks six languages, and has been with Roma since 2011. He's also on contract with Roma until 2018, and this passage from The Week article is basically a giant shrug in word form:

When asked in the wake of the City game about the possibility of a move to Arsenal, Pjanic replied: "I'm happy where I am but anything can happen. When you're a footballer you never know... it's never simple for a player, but I try to live calmly and not listen to rumours that the journalists talk about."

Speaking of rumors, Kike Marin has gotten into the ongoing saga surrounding current top Summer League Transfer Window MVP candidate Karim Benzema. According to Marin -- who, for the record, is one of our favorite transfer window journalists -- Arsenal is indeed interested in Benzema. But, there's also a (cue dramatic music here) Plan B if that doesn't work out.

@Arsenal Slowly, but surely. Wenger will try to sign to Benzema. If can not, Arsène has a second option #Arsenal pic.twitter.com/zRr8JYKa82

— Kike Marin** (@Kike_Marin_) July 21, 2015

When asked on Twitter by @ca141414 (who allegedly is named "£40,000,001") who the second option is, he responded, "Top . . . secret," which set off a minor ripple of Marco Reus Twitter speculation in its wake.

Also, because it's a summer transfer window, the Daily Star has an EXCLUSIVE report that Arsenal is in for Manchester City sometimes-striker Edin Dzeko for a tenth consecutive season, although in truth, Dzeko is never ever leaving Manchester.

SPENDY SEZ: Don't pjanic, everyone; I'm definitely going to spend some more money this summer, ha ha! I do like the sound of this Kareem Mercedes-Benz fellow, and I always like negotiations with my cousin Euros Perez. I hear that he is trying to send Sergio Ram to the Uniteds, and after he is done with them, I believe that he will talk to me. But maybe I will wait to the very end of the window like I did two years ago, ha ha! I know the fans will be very patient with that! WE WILL MAKETH WITH THE RAIN IN THE NEXT FORTY DAYS! I GUARANTEE IT!