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Happy birthday, Arturo Vidal! From your friends at The Short Fuse

It just so happens the suddenly-linked Juventus midfielder has a birthday today, so we here at The Short Fuse want to wish him the happiest of birthday in a way we only know how.

WE LOVE YOU TOO ARTURO
WE LOVE YOU TOO ARTURO
Valerio Pennicino/Getty Images

Happy birthday, Arturo! You're the best! You always keep it 100, and you know that!

We know you've been linked, probably inaccurately as all hell, with a move to Arsenal, but if you think that's going to stop us from wishing you a happy birthday you're dead wrong pal.

♪ ♫ Happy birthday to you
Come to Arsenal
You'll love life in London
And maybe win some things, too ♫ ♪

First up, we brought in Arsene Wenger to give you a cake. Chocolate, with little choco chips baked into it. It's all yours, Arturo. Eat the entire damn thing for all we care because you deserve it. Yum.

Whereas normally we hate it when people blow out candles on a birthday cake because they end up spitting all over it, we'd be more than honored for you to blow these out. Go for it, friend. It's your special day!

And what's a birthday without, at least, a birthday card?

We didn't feel good just picking up the first one we saw at the store, not reading it, and putting it in our shopping cart. No, we needed you to understand just how much you mean to us. It was only right to find a card that had the right meaning, the right message, and the right imagry to convey the love you'd experience at Arsenal.

We hope you like it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ARTURO!