Monday morning cannon fodder

ENGLAND:

Charlie Adam scored from his own half. Which is always fun, and pretty cool to see, but it seems less "goal of the season" worthy and more "instructional video for striker to always notice when keeper leaves his line" type stuff.

Toronto FC washout Jermaine Defoe scored a much more GOTY-worthy goal this weekend.

The Football Conference is rebranding as the National League. Maybe the new National League will score more than 3.95 runs/game this season.

Thursday nights, Channel Five. Always.

EUROPE:

Real Madrid had a nice little kickabout against bottom-placed Granada on Saturday.

in Turkey, Fenerbahce were leaving their game against Rizespor when their team bus was attacked. The bus driver was injured and taken to hospital, and in the wake of that incident the Turkish league has suspended this week's games.

Well, that's just charming. And by "charming" I mean "disgusting".

And concluding this morning's look at "Why everyone sucks and why no one can have nice things", Russian fans started a brawl in the stands that caused officials to stop a game, which was later resumed.

MLS/US:

The Timbers picked up their first win of the season on Saturday, handing Dallas their first loss - after which Dallas coach Oscar Pareja did this, for some reason.

In an amazingly entertaining game, Sporting Kansas City beat Philadelphia 3-2 with a 94th minute winner, a game in which Philadelphia had taken a 2-1 lead after 20 minutes of play.

The Vancouver Whitecaps appear to be For Real, after beating last year's MLS Cup winners Los Angeles Galaxy 2-0 to remain in first place in the Western Conference.

The US Women's Team continued their preparations for this summer's World Cup by beating New Zealand 4-0 in St. Louis.