Cannon Fodder: Clowns

ENGLAND:

As you may have heard, Martin Skrtel was suspended today for stamping David de Gea at the end of the Liverpool-Manchester United match this weekend. It wasn't subtle, wasn't really something that could be contested - it was an obvious stamp. His reaction to his punishment was...interesting.

There have been many rumors flying around that Arsenal are kicking the tires on Chris Smalling, among others.

In the least surprising news ever concerning a league where teams make £90 million just for showing up, a majority of Premier League teams are now profitable.

Thierry Henry is amazing.

EUROPE:

The Economist takes a look at the "Who's Better: Ronaldo or Messi" question.

Carlo Ancelotti is suspected to be leaving Real Madrid this season, and he may turn up in the blue half of Manchester.

Real Madrid are also investigating the fans who attacked players' cars after this weekend's Barcelona match, and have already banned one fan pending an investigation.

MLS/US:

Caleb Porter was widely tabbed as the next US coaching wunderkind, using the possession style of play mastered by Pep Guardiola, when he arrived in Portland prior to the 2013 season. He's had to evolve his style rather significantly since.

Apparently now the Beckham Miamis of MLS want to explore using Marlins Park as their home. I am all for this, because they can use this to celebrate any time a goal is scored. I want this to happen so, so much.

Your next MLS team? Minnesota United.