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Thursday Cannon Fodder

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Another day, another pile of bullet points.

They're trying out for Bob Belcher's competitive patty cake team
They're trying out for Bob Belcher's competitive patty cake team
Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images

ENGLAND:

Not sure if you'd heard, but Chelsea clownshoed their way out of Europe last night. The match featured the entire Chelsea team at one point surrounding the referee to complain about Zlatan Ibrahimovic, which in turn led Zlatan to call them "babies" after the match. Well done, Chelsea, well done.

Despite referring to his team as a "project", which I loathe more than is probably healthy, the president of Paris St. Germain said he saw the belief that PSG could win in the eyes of his players.

Moving on, in the exact same way that Chelsea is not: Who has been the best player in the Premier League so far this season?

In what has become a semi-regular thing, another English manager thinks a winter break would help Premier League teams in Europe.

EUROPE:

Real Madrid almost Chelsea'd their way out of Europe, losing 4-3 to Schalke who gave a performance that will make Arsenal fans hope for good things next week.

Following that game, Gareth Bale and Carlo Ancelotti have received a vote of confidence from Real Madrid president Florentino Perez. If European sport votes of confidence work the same way as American sport ones do, expect both to be gone within months.

Is it time to penalize those teams/players who surround the referee, screaming for justice?

MLS/US:

Last night, thanks in no small part to a Hope Solo penalty save in the 81st minute, the US Women's Team won the Algarve Cup, the warmup tournament before this summer's Women's World Cup.

With the MLS season under way, the New York Yankees finally realize that sharing a field at Yankee Stadium with MCFCUSA might mess with their field a bit. If I liked the Yankees, I'd be bothered by this, but as far as I'm concerned soccer can destroy that turf.

A besweatered Landon Donovan was a guest lecturer at Harvard, and gave a talk about soccer culture.

MLS is an expansion-hungry league, and Minneapolis is probably going to be one of the next cities awarded a team.

The woman who flipped off Jozy Altidore speaks.