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Tuesday Morning Cannon Fodder

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he looks like he lost his keys
he looks like he lost his keys
Clive Mason/Getty Images

ENGLAND:

A grieving nation mourns as 'Arry Redknapp calls it quits at QPR.

West Ham are under investigation for fielding an ineligible player in the FA Cup, and they may get kicked out of that competition as a result.

Hatem Ben Arfa's move to Nice has been cancelled by FIFA, as he's already played games for two other teams this season. Players cannot play for more than two teams in any one season.

Premier League clubs have spent almost a billion pounds in transfer fees since last summer.

WORLD:

Own a football team? Want to buy a shiny Cristiano Ronaldo for it? It'd cost you at least £300 million, says the guy who would get 15% of that sale. He's probably not for sale, though.

Parma, Europa League qualifiers from last year, are now looking at relegation after losing their 17th game of this season. That, however, is the least of their worries.

US:

The US Men's team has only won one game out of its last nine. Why? Let's ask Jurgen!

MLS preseason is up and running, and Toronto's latest...what's Italian for "Bloody Big Deal"? has officially joined the club.