Here in the US, today is Thanksgiving Day. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of all time - it's got neither religious nor gift-giving expectations or overtones, it's not a solemn day of remembering, it's just basically an excuse to hang out with your loved ones and eat, drink, and be merry. I also call it the Festival of Brown Food, because Thanksgiving is a time for turkey, stuffing, potatoes, and maaaaybe a green vegetable, all covered with gravy. You want experimental holiday food? Do that at Christmas, you monster. Basic stuffing, basic turkey, mashed potatoes, green veggie, gravy, biscuits. That's all you need. Take your ham, your goose, your cornbread stuffings and your raspberry glaze, which I'm sure are wonderful, and do that another time.
Anyway, as a Certified Media Outlet in These United States, we here at the Short Fuse are contractually obligated today to write a hacky, cliched post about What We Are Thankful For, even though we have Canadian authors now as well (so we'll satisfy our CanCon percentage, hopefully). So, here is that post. Things will probably be pretty quiet around here today, as those of us in the US celebrate with our families and/or friends, so I'd like to take this opportunity to wish you all, regardless of where you live, a happy Thanksgiving and hope that you have a wonderful holiday - and if it's not a holiday for you, I hope it's a good day. Anyway.
WHAT IS TSF THANKFUL FOR?
(NOTE: A few of us were traveling or otherwise engaged this holiday week, so not everyone's represented here)
I'm thankful that Arsene Wenger finally has a jacket he can zip up with a minimum of fuss. His long national jacket nightmare is finally over, and that's worthy of thanks.
I'm thankful for the existence of Mat Flamini. Despite the fact that his curfew at the asylum has long since passed and that he's likely the center of a manhunt to capture a crazed escaped psychopath, the man is the living embodiment of the "Get rich or die trying" creed. His hart and pashun are an inspiration and his deep pockets give me hope that if Wenger won't sign a damn world class DM with the money afforded to him, Flamillionare will.
Though my Arsenal love is born of Thierry Henry and pretty trigonometry around the box and is currently infused with pinpoint Mesut Özil passes to Alexis and Giroud, this year I'm thankful for a defender -- one that rounds the Collective Arsenal Handsome Scale down to a mere 9 every time he's on the pitch, one who is still learning the ins and outs of the Premier League and which referees straight up hate Arsenal, but one who is already a tackling monster in central defense, and perhaps more importantly, one with the temerity to actually challenge Diego Costa to a big ol' man-fight this year. Yes, I'm talking about the Brazilian defender who almost makes me forget we once featured a Brazilian defender named Andre Santos. Thank you, Gabriel, for being you, and the next time you're on the field with Diego Costa, may you get away with one. Or several. I'm not picky.
I was going to write a tongue-in-cheek thing about the Fourth Place Trophy, but decided instead I'd go with something I'm really thankful for. Mesut Özil is a wonderful perfect angel. He's a treasure. His smile is going to cure world hunger and fix global warming forever in our lifetimes. He's better at everything than the rest of us. I bet if he made a grilled cheese, it would be fancy and on delicious artisanal bread with some fancy cheese. Everything he touches turns to pure awesome. Warren Barton actually called him brave yesterday, for crying out loud. He's better than all of us jerks and we don't deserve him, but he's ours. Hey, did you guys hear we signed Mesut freaking Özil?
The Other Phil:
What? I sent this a month ago; didn't you get it? No, I don't have a back up. New laptop, never got around to the transferring of my old files. Yeah, I know, I know. Look, I'm not writing it again. I'm not even eating turkey this week! I'm going to do up a slab of spiced pork belly and make tacos with home made tortillas. (Try building a wall against that, Trump!) Sheesh... uh, OK, I'm thankful for poutine, curling, trappist beer, winter and Aaron Ramsey. Thankful also to be joining the team and looking forward to annoying the hell out of everyone with all the U's! Oh, and my family, I guess, because they're pretty decent. Hauppy Thaunksgiving, neighbour.
If you don't love Alexis Sanchez and his dogs, then get out of my face. The human member of the trio is pretty great, I think we can all agree, what with his on-the-field talents and goal scoring and all that.
I'm thankful for injuries. What would Arsenal fans talk about if they could not whine and complain about injuries, retweet Raymond Verheijen, send death threats to Shad Forsythe or have a ready-made excuse to throw out come May when we have, again, disappointed? Thanks, injuries, for #EmbracingDebate.