Zelalem gets stuck in with Scotland

After only a few months at Rangers, it would seem Gedion Zelalem is adapting to life in Scotland. Zelalem came to the Scottish second division as one of Arsenal and the United States' hottest prospects. He is getting significant minutes for Rangers, and it sounds like he's taken immediately to Scottish football. "I'm really learning how to play football the right way up here." he said. "Play hard, play physical, and get stuck in."

"We heard a lot from Coach Wenger about possession and passing," the midfielder shared in a recent interview. "But now that I'm getting a taste of competitive first team football, I don't understand what he was talking about. Have you ever seen a long ball? It bypasses the entire defense and you can just head it in! They can't even stop it with their feet!"

"And honestly," he continued. "There is nothing as satisfying as getting stuck in and feeling the crunch of your foot on another man's shin. Except maybe a pint or three of lager after a good match." He smiled. "Or before it if we're feeling a bit naughty!"

"I feel like I'm learning so much here in Scotland." Zelalem added, taking a swig of beer and wiping crumbs of meat pie off his face with his jersey. "I can't wait to take those lessons back to Arsenal's entire youth set up. Imagine what we'll do when they see how football is meant to be played!"

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The Short Fuse has been taken over today by Cartilage Free Captain, SB Nation's Tottenham Hotspur blog! For the humor-impaired, articles posted today are intended to be parody and do not reflect the views (or even the writing!) of The Short Fuse writing staff.