You know how I said yesterday would be fairly unremarkable? Thanks, Luis Suarez. I hope you get banned for a year just for making me look wrong. And then another year because biting is stupid. And I hope you're banned from club level too because the Liverpool fan reaction would be priceless.
Anyway, the group stage of the World Cup approaches its conclusion, as we're now on the penultimate day, which means THERE WILL BE NO FOOTBALL ON FRIDAY. NONE.
It's horrible. Anyway, there is football today:
Group F: 12 PM EDT/9 AM PDT/5 PM BST
Argentina have qualified; Bosnia have been eliminated. Iran and Nigeria can still quality for the second spot, and Nigeria could finish first if they beat Argentina.
- Argentina win the group with a win or draw. They finish second with a loss to Nigeria.
- Nigeria advances and wins the group with a win. Nigeria advances with a draw and Iran draw or loss.
- Iran advance with a win and a Nigeria loss, provided there is a 2 goal swing in goal difference.
- If Argentina beats Nigeria 1-0 and Iran wins 1-0, there will be a drawing of lots, as Iran and Nigeria would finish with the same points, goal difference, goals scored and head to head record.
Group E: 4 PM EDT/1 PM PDT/9 PM BST
Everything is in play here: it's possible but unlikely that France could be eliminated (which would be hilarious), and even Honduras could advance.
- France advances and wins the group with a win/draw against Ecuador. They advance with a loss AND Honduras win. They could advance with a loss and Switzerland win, if Switzerland doesn't make up goal difference.
- Ecuador advance with a win AND Honduras win/draw OR a draw AND a Honduras win/draw OR a win and Switzerland win if Switzerland doesn't win by two more goals (see below)
- Ecuador wins the group if they beat France by 4 goals
- Switzerland advances with a win AND Ecuador loss/draw OR a win and Ecuador win provided they win by two more goals than Ecuador: example, if Ecuador wins 1-0, Switzerland would have to win 3-0.
- Switzerland advances with a draw AND Ecuador loss
- Honduras advances with a win AND Ecuador loss if they overcome goal differential and/or goals scored with Ecuador and Switzerland (Ecuador is on 0, Switzerland -2 and Honduras -3, Ecuador have scored 3, Switzerland 4 and Honduras 1)
Your Arsenal watch is provided by a likely start for Laurent Koscielny, a possible start for Olivier Giroud and any of the assorted transfer targets such as Loic Remy (bleh), Antoine Griezmann, and apparently Ecuador's Enner Valencia, though I'm quite doubtful.