Tancredi Palmeri is one of my favorite journalists on Twitter. He gets in fights with other people on there, his name is fun to say, and he tweets absolutely insane stuff like this:
BOOM! Xavi has definitely accepted to move to New York RedBull after World Cup, according to Sky Italy
— Tancredi Palmeri (@tancredipalmeri) January 15, 2014
Like, I'm pretty sure that's not happening, but it's tremendously fun to think about if you abandon your critical faculties. And what if it did?! And he says it like he's John Madden selling foot spray. It's just great on all levels.
Anyway, Tancredi tweeted something about Arsenal today. Kind of.
AN UNBELIEVABLE NEWS FOR ARSENAL FANS! I had to promise embargo until friday. IT IS HUGE!
— Tancredi Palmeri (@tancredipalmeri) February 10, 2014
He has some news, but today the only news is that he has the news. He can't tell us what the news is until Friday, so he'll probably just spend all week reminding us that he has some news and DON'T LOOK AWAY! STAY RIGHT HERE!
We'll have to wait until the weekend to find out what possibly-fabricated juicy nugget he has for us, but luckily I took the blog's private jet over to London, did some digging, talked to my sources, and I have a few ideas about what he might have found out. Here they are.
- Arsenal are finally signing Sebastien Frey this summer
- Special forces led by Emmanuel Frimpong have located Piers Morgan's underground lair, and will be moving to strike on Friday morning
- Arsenal are installing a statue of Dennis Bergkamp at the Emirates
- David Dein is coming back, and will perform the Fusion Dance with Arsene Wenger to form
- A Thierry Henry loan deal
- We get to take a mulligan on the first twenty minutes of the Liverpool game
- Someone finally found proof that Osama bin Laden wasn't actually an Arsenal fan
- Fever Pitch II: The Invincibles