Let's forget that Mesut Ozil is out for "10 to 12 weeks," who could possibly replace him, what sort of lineup Arsene Wenger will look to trot out until our record-signing comes back, and instead get to solving the narrative so we can all go in future comment sections and social media and have a unified voice.
Someone needs to be blamed for Ozil's knee injury, and it sure as hell isn't "random circumstances."
The candidates for blame, in no particular order:
There was a point in time when he trotted out the same methods of training that didn't break his players in half, and now he's like a five-year old kid at Christmas who's already busted his new toys in unbridled excitement. I bet he's the type that leaves the dealership after buying a new car and promptly steers his new whip into a guard rail.
Not only does he not appreciate the players he has at his disposal, but he abuses them. It's high fucking time he gets Sole Blame of an Injury, but there might be other worthy candidates at the moment.
Did we suffer the amount of injuries like we've seen lately at Highbury? I rest my case.
Being a Manchester United fan and incredibly jealous that we're playing in the Champions League and his side isn't, Satan took matters into his (or her?) own hands to ensure his club qualifies next season. After all, it's apparent Louis van Gaal can't do it all by himself.
He had the audacity to conduct business with Arsenal and another company he owns, so he's also the type of shyster who'd twist Ozil's leg in the middle of the night and later claim poverty when Arsenal fail to make Champions League and subsequently raise season ticket prices to make up for that lack of revenue.
Have you heard this shit box rap before? It's like someone rounded up a bunch of kittens and shot them all over a canned, generic beat.
Luckily I've managed to avoid being in the same room as this disease-stricken warbler, but Mesut Ozil hasn't:
@champagnepapi & me #mesutozil #mesutözil #Drake
Angered by the fact that his testicles have yet to descend, Drake took out his insecurities by stomping on Ozil shortly after this photo was taken. It was unclear at the time whether or not Mesut was hobbled by the attack, but it's looking more and more likely now to be the case.