Today In Luis Suarez: No Clause, Let's Be Friends

Just when you thought the proposed Luis Suarez transfer couldn't get less slow, more convoluted, or even more tedious, here we go!

Today, the PFA had a guy put on a green banker's eyeshade, sit at a big mahogany desk with a pencil in his hand, and review the existing Luis Suarez contract for the infamous £40m+1 release clause.  Guess what?  He didn't find it.  The clause is, apparently, as originally advertised - £40m+1 obligates Liverpool to inform Suarez of another team's interest, but does not trigger a release.  We think we already knew this, but now the PFA says it's official, so hopefully that should end that ambiguity.

Arsenal were apparently misinformed about the strength of the clause, which will cause people to say 'ARSENAL DON'T KNOW HOW TO NEGOTIATE'.  Liverpool are clearly overestimating how much Suarez wants to stay, which will cause people to say 'LIVERPOOL ARE DELUSIONAL AND THEY SHOULD SELL SUAREZ RIGHT NOW'.  Both sides may have a point; there's no right answer, the ball's in Liverpool's court at this point, so now, as always, we wait to see what the Liverpool front office will do next.

Meanwhile, our protagonist has pulled out his favorite War album and blasted WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS from his car stereo as he was driving away from today's solitary training (yep, he's so rich, he has a turntable in his car).  After his GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE interview yesterday, he's honking all the right sounds about Liverpool now, saying he hopes things will be resolved amicably and that while he's still in Liverpool, he'll play his heart out, kiss the badge, and otherwise be Liverpool until he's not.  Neat.

I'm tired of this.  I'm tired of writing about it.  Can it end now?  Please?  I don't even care how, at this point - if he's an Arsenal player soon, great, if not, seriously, whatever.  Just do something one way or the other so we can get on with our lives.