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Suarez Says Sorry, Starts Structured Sprinting As Scouser

Today in Luis very tired I resorted to cheap alliterative puns. I'm really sorry.

Chris Brunskill

Luis Suarez got lonely doing all that training by himself, so today before school he got up in front of class, shuffled his feet a bit, looked down at the ground, and stammered out an apology to his teammates.  What is unknown is the nature of the apology.  Was it a Jason Giambi-style apology for nothing specific?  Was it a weepy, tearful apology for being a disruptive influence and for having to miss the first several games of the season?  Or was he just sorry he wasted everyone's time?  We may never know.

What we do know is that Suarez is presumably now in the long line of "Not Arsenal Transfers" this summer.  If I had an ice cream truck, I'd drive up and down that line selling them all ice cream, and make a lot of money.  What I'm trying to say is it's a long line.  Is this thing on?  Hello?

So, yep.  Season starts tomorrow, and we're still talking about this.  Joy.