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Report: Luis Suarez to stay at Liverpool

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If this is true, the Internet is about to go weapons-free.

"deuces, Arsene"
"deuces, Arsene"
Stanley Chou

A pair of tweets from "top Uruguayan journalist" (Grant Wahl's words, not mine) Martin Charquero claim that Luis Suarez has said he will be staying at Liverpool this season.

Here's the slightly abridged translation from Google; anyone fluent in Spanish is welcome to do better in the comments, but here we go:

ATTENTION. Luis Suarez confirmed that Liverpool will not go. The support of the fans in recent weeks influenced the decision.

Luis Suarez looks like probably a renewal (extension) of the contract that binds him to Liverpool.

hahahahahahahaha /dead

Sorry, that's not great journalism from me, is it? Well, if this holds true, it looks like all that contract-parsing and moral-code-bending was for naught. Feel free to go back to hating him again if you like, until tomorrow when he'll probably change his mind and get Herbert Chapman's bust tattooed on his chest, or something.