Laurent Koscielny gives interview, all hell breaks loose

Evidently France are about to play Uruguay and Brazil, which is a thing I don't really care about because I'm not from any of the three countries and international friendlies are kind of the worst. Laurent Koscielny, noted Arsenal defender, is French, and has been picked in the team for the friendlies. Koscielny gave an interview to Eurosport, and Twitter exploded.

The following is coming from Google Translate, because I don't speak French and Google does, so the precise translation is likely to be off. But based on the reactions of people who do speak French, I presume that the spirit of this translation is right. Or close to right. Right-ish. Anyway, to the universal translator:

About your future, where will you play next year?

LK: I feel good at Arsenal, I still have a four-year contract. I get out of a complicated season especially during the first six months but I'm finished. I also want to win titles, I hope that the club will give the means. It serves him right. Does the club want to keep me? The issue is also there.

Is not it too wearing white enchainer seasons [ed: whaaaaaaaaaaat]? What would you want to go?

LK: If you have the means to compete with the best, I have no reason to leave. But if it is to be fighting every year for the C1 is psychologically hard to be constantly under pressure. I do not want to go anywhere. I want to know another championship. Of course it's complicated. I want to lift trophies and give me a record. I hope the club will give the means. If this is not the case, I'd look elsewhere.

PSG focused on you. Have you had contact?

LK: Paris? I do not know, I have not had any contact.

Frankly that's on balance a crap translation, and if any of you speak French better than me (i.e. at all) and wants to take a shot in the comments, please do. But for the most part, the gist is there. Koscielny is stressed by the past couple of seasons' ends. He wants to win stuff. He doesn't really want to leave, but if the club won't "give the means" to win, then he'd like to go somewhere that will.

This combines with recent rumors (reported here by ESPN based on something from the Sun, which I refuse to link to on principle) that Bayern Munich want to buy Koscielny for around £15 million, because evidently Bayern Munich are now the New York Yankees.

Honestly, I'm having a hard time getting worried by this. A player wants to win? That's a real shock, next you'll tell me Sepp Blatter said something sexist. He says he doesn't really want to leave, and I'll believe that up until he releases his open letter. He says that fighting for the Champions League is mentally tough, and that this season in general was hard. He says that he prefers winning things to not winning them. Is there really anything controversial here?

Koscielny is under contract for four more years. At least in theory, Arsenal have money to spend this summer and appear to be trying to use it. If there are any ambition issues, I'm pretty confident that they'll be answered. Any sales made this summer are far more likely to be made on a basis of desire rather than need. So I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friends.

UPDATE:

If I'd waited about three minutes to post this, I could have included the Arseblog News translation of the interview, which appears to have been done by an actual person and is therefore superior. Look here for that - it's more or less the same, but with some nuance that helps calm the nerves. In particular I agree with this:

We’d urge everyone to chill out. The fact Laurent was being questioned by a bloke who insisted on pushing him to talk about PSG, despite there being no suggestion of such a move, underlines that everyone, both at home and abroad, is looking for a juicy headline. Moreover, what he has said makes perfect sense – the club does indeed need to win silverware and it’s going to need hungry players like Koscielny to do so.

So yeah. It's all going to be okay.