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On Arsene Wenger and PSG

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Some sources have claimed that he's agreed to leave Arsenal this summer; it's 99.99999% not happening.

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"If you see Paul Hayward, can you kneel down behind him, and I'll push him over you"
"If you see Paul Hayward, can you kneel down behind him, and I'll push him over you"
Shaun Botterill

The Daily Telegraph today has reported (ALERT ALERT: PAUL HAYWARD. PAUL HAYWARD. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.) that Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger is poised to leave this summer after mega-rich oil club Paris Saint-Germain has offered him a new contract:

PSG’s most senior figures have been telling members of their circle that Wenger has been persuaded to leave north London after 17 years in charge of Arsenal.

Okay, first of all, we all know that football club owners are super modest and never brag about things they haven't yet accomplished. Hayward continues, quoting the man himself:

"First of all I don’t know too much about what’s been said about me. Then I’m concentrating on the next game and the next season. At the end of my contract I’ll see what I can do. I’ve always respected my contracts. I can’t see at my age why that should change." Seasoned Wenger-watchers detected a note of ambiguity in that statement.

-- Source: Daily Telegraph

"Seasoned Wenger-watchers", Paul? Seriously? What frigging ambiguity is in the statement "I've always respected my contracts. I can't see at my age what should change"? And who are these seasoned "watchers", anyhow? Are their names Haul Payward and Paulward Hayes?

Look, everyone: Wenger has flat out said he's not going anywhere while he's under contract, just like he's said every other year of the 17 years he's set up a life in London for himself, all while resisting what are no doubt huge monetary advances from the likes of Real Madrid.

He's not going anywhere this summer. He has zero incentive to leave a club into which he's poured everything he has for 17 years when he has one year left on his current contract. If money hasn't lured him away before, it won't now, no matter what noted paste-eater and bored writer Paul Hayward thinks he's heard some super rich dudes bragging about. Move along, everyone.