The Walking Robin van Persie

And we're back on Andy Goldstein's Sports Bar here on Talksport, and on the phone is Manchester United's forward Robin van Persie, who's set to make his return to the Emirates this Sunday. Tell me how things have been this first year under Sir Alex Ferguson.

Well, Andy, it's been everything I'd imagined it'd be. Even though I'm nearing the end of my career, I've been fortunate to play under him since I've learned new things about my game, as well as the sport itself, over these last few months.

Right. Give us a bit of insight on what it's like to play alongside Wayne Rooney.

Playing next to Wayne has been the boost I needed to become an even better player. He's the ultimate competitor and he always pushes me to be even better. He has incredible vision and his ability to drop back to support the attack and, in the end, me and my left foot, is simply amazing.

And what a goal your left foot had on Monday night in the title-clinching match versus Aston Villa.

Yes, that goal was nice, but the others were just as nice since it helped me lift a trophy, which is why I made the move over last summer.

Uh huh. You know, Robin, many people in north London are rather bitter about the way things unfolded, and while I can't say you weren't right to make the move, I would have handled it better if I was Arsene Wenger.

Oh, great, another person with an opinion about the move.

For instance, Robin, when I play FIFA 13, I always make sure to utilize the best clinical finishers as my forwards. So I went out once, when playing Career Mode, bought Radamel Falcao and sold off a whole mess of dead weight to make sure Arsenal could afford him. Then I paired him with you and played Jack Wilshere behind you two, Santi Cazorla to the left and Theo Walcott to the right. We ended up scoring 134 goals, went undefeated and won every competition that season. If I were Stan Kroenke, I would hire me. I know the team, kid.

Uh....what's going on here?

Trust me on this. I once sold you on FIFA UT, but realized the mistake and bought you back. Then sold you and bought you back. Then sold you. Then bought you back. Sold, then bought. Sold, bought. Sold. Bought. You know, emotions can overcome the best of us managers but I managed to keep my top enough to pair you alongside other great players. We were the best UT in England for three weeks!

(to be continued....)